Successful Dating and Marriage (1)

Written by Arthur Zulu

Chapter One

“In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy." -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.


When Japanese government officials conceived building an airport in Narita, little did they know thatrepparttar airport will later come to be associated with divorce. Evenrepparttar 105648 engineers and architects, who dreamt uprepparttar 105649 plan, forgot to dream about wed locks and goodbyes. Morpheus,repparttar 105650 god of dreams, did not remind them.

Now,repparttar 105651 term Narita divorce, has been coined forrepparttar 105652 newlyweds who on arrival at Narita Airport after a honeymoon, immediately head torepparttar 105653 court to file divorce papers. Bad word!

Marriages have been known to hitrepparttar 105654 rocks,repparttar 105655 night afterrepparttar 105656 weeding day. Some may wait to happen afterrepparttar 105657 birth ofrepparttar 105658 first child, while others may choose to divorce after their golden jubilee.

The story of broken marriages -- marital bliss turned marital misery, is worldwide. And this is happening despite an army of psychologists, psychiatrists, clergymen, and other counselors offering advice on marriage, including a horde of publications onrepparttar 105659 subject. People have even written best-sellers, offering advice on broken families. Ask Inyanla Vanzant,repparttar 105660 author ofrepparttar 105661 book, Yesterday I Cried.

Let's get some statistics. Britain hasrepparttar 105662 highest divorce rate in Europe (4 out of 10 marriages), Canada and Japan (1 out of 3 marriages), Zimbabwe (2 out of every 5 marriage) and Spain (1 out of 8 marriages.) Also in Australia, divorce rates have quadrupled sincerepparttar 105663 1980's, and inrepparttar 105664 United States and other lands, teenage mothers and children born out of wedlock, have been onrepparttar 105665 rise.

In other countries, like Germany,repparttar 105666 traditional family has totally been abandoned. In that country, single persons and individuals account for a majority ofrepparttar 105667 families. And in France, people are marrying less, and divorcing more.

The effect of broken families --repparttar 105668 oldest human institution -- is already telling on us. What withrepparttar 105669 violence that we see around us today?

Family disintegration has led torepparttar 105670 fall of great empires like Rome and Greece. May it not lead torepparttar 105671 end of our civilization!

But why are married couples increasingly getting divorce certificates or simply living as roommates, or what has been called emotional divorce? Because they started their marriages withrepparttar 105672 wrong foot. And head torepparttar 105673 wrong people to seek advice -- marriage counselors.

These series of articles will help you to get your marriage on a good start, and stay married. Because it will tell you God's view about marriage. And since God isrepparttar 105674 creator and originator of marriage, he isrepparttar 105675 best authority on this matter.

In these series, you will find answers to questions that you may have asked such as: How can I find a compatible mate? What arerepparttar 105676 rules of dating? How do I know if I am ready for marriage? What happens onrepparttar 105677 wedding day? What is needed for a successful marriage? How should disagreements be settled? What is my role inrepparttar 105678 family? How can a husband get his wife's respect? Why does a wife need her husband's love? Who isrepparttar 105679 decision maker? What aboutrepparttar 105680 children? And many more…

But first; folks, let us look out forrepparttar 105681 dangers in a marriage. Knowing these dangers, like a sailor knowingrepparttar 105682 location ofrepparttar 105683 hidden rocks underrepparttar 105684 sea, will help you to find success in your courtship and marriage, sex and happiness.

So, what are they?

Chapter Two

"It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love." --DR. KAREN KAYSER.


Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your destiny. But you see, marriage is like a packed theater with some uninterested spectators wanting to get out, and other interested ones waiting outside, wishing to get in.

If you think though that marriage can solve all of your problems, you are mistaken. Ask a married friend. But it can give you a measure of security and satisfaction if you play byrepparttar 105685 rules.

But we forgetrepparttar 105686 rules before we rush into matrimony. And when a sailor forgets his navigation rules, he suffers a shipwreck.

You see, people enter into marriage relationships with little or no preparation. If you were enteringrepparttar 105687 university for example, you will be asked to sit for a qualifying exam. You may even be asked to show other supporting qualifications likerepparttar 105688 TOEFL if you were heading for a U.S. university.

Successful Dating and Marriage (2)

Written by Arthur Zulu

Chapter Four

“Most marriage failures are courtship failures” -- PAUL H. LANDIS


And that’s true. A good courtship makes a good marriage. Butrepparttar problem is that some do not even knowrepparttar 105647 purpose of courtship, and when to begin it.

Most courtships are no less than crushes -- an infatuated love for a favorite teacher, pop star or some other celeb. And this starts earlier in girls than in boys.

These daydreamers, however, end up sick and depressed. Becauserepparttar 105648 truth is that they may never get to meet such one in person, all their life. Even when they do, there is little chance thatrepparttar 105649 love they crave for such “idols” will be returned. In most cases those “idols” are not even aware ofrepparttar 105650 “love.”

So be real about your date. And this would involve asking yourself some personal questions that will help you to find out if you are not deceiving yourself. These questions are: How well do I really know this person? Am I blinded to his personal flaws? Isrepparttar 105651 person perfect? Have I fallen in love with an image? Would I ever get to meet this person in my life?

Ifrepparttar 105652 answers you get make you think that you are onrepparttar 105653 wrong road, put your automobile inrepparttar 105654 reverse, fast. Do things that will keep you busy. Stop romanticizing. Seek help from your parents, or friends.

Then someday, you will findrepparttar 105655 “real love”, and your right date. But before you start seeing each other, you have to be warned ofrepparttar 105656 dark side of dating.

The Dangers of Dating

Do not date for fun. Dating should start when you are ready for marriage. In fact it is part ofrepparttar 105657 process of gettingrepparttar 105658 right marriage mate.

Teenagers and others, who dated forrepparttar 105659 fun of it, have ended up committing sexual immorality before knowing it. It normally starts with holding hands, an innocent kiss, then fondling with intimate body parts, and finally, sex.

Then one dayrepparttar 105660 relationship breaks up, leavingrepparttar 105661 couples to sufferrepparttar 105662 emotional trauma. Some end up in hospital beds, or psychiatric homes, some commit abortions while others commit suicide. Others live for life with a wounded conscience. Would you want that to happen to you? Of course not.

Dating itself is not wrong. But it is wrong to date forrepparttar 105663 wrong reason. The following questions will help you to have a successful courtship.

Why am I dating?

It is okay if you are dating with marriage in view. But it is wrong when you are just flirting around with a member ofrepparttar 105664 opposite sex, just to get attention.

Would dating help me to grow emotionally?

Limiting yourself to a boy-girl relationship will hinder your social and emotional development. This will not help your maturity and prepare you to select a mate.

Do you want to hurt yourself?

If you pursue an unrealistic relationship, you will hurt yourself later. You may be disappointed byrepparttar 105665 other person. And it may take you some time to regain your composure.

What do my parents and others say aboutrepparttar 105666 relationship?

Your friends or parents may draw your attention torepparttar 105667 dangers in your relationship. Would it not be wise for you to take a hard look atrepparttar 105668 facts, and pack it up? After all, they have affection for you, and your parents who are older and wiser, should know better.

Will I be able to keep my courtship honorable?

This means that your relationship should not cross from seeing each other, to having premarital sex. So if your date decides to call offrepparttar 105669 relationship, you would still have kept your chastity and moral integrity intact. The reverse is bad news.

The following arerepparttar 105670 rules of dating.

Do not date until you are old enough and ready to get married.

Do not date someone you don’t love.

Keep your relationship chaste.

Do not go to your date alone. Have a chaperon by you.

Be properly dressed, and be on time when you visit your date.

Keep your visit informal and relaxed. Converse and listen well.

Try to know as much as possible about your date.

Do not dodge sensitive matters. Discuss them.

In your discussion, find out how you are to live. Ask questions like these: Where are we to live? How many children shall we have? What type of birth control method shall we use? What is your role in our marriage? What type of work shall we do? How are we going to save our money? Do you have any health problem? Did you live a promiscuous sex life? Can we do a medical check up? Do you owe money? What is your life or religious goal? And many more. . .

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