“In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy." -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA.

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When Japanese government officials conceived building an airport in Narita, little did they know that airport will later come to be associated with divorce. Even engineers and architects, who dreamt up plan, forgot to dream about wed locks and goodbyes. Morpheus, god of dreams, did not remind them.

Now, term Narita divorce, has been coined for newlyweds who on arrival at Narita Airport after a honeymoon, immediately head to court to file divorce papers. Bad word!

Marriages have been known to hit rocks, night after weeding day. Some may wait to happen after birth of first child, while others may choose to divorce after their golden jubilee.

The story of broken marriages -- marital bliss turned marital misery, is worldwide. And this is happening despite an army of psychologists, psychiatrists, clergymen, and other counselors offering advice on marriage, including a horde of publications on subject. People have even written best-sellers, offering advice on broken families. Ask Inyanla Vanzant, author of book, Yesterday I Cried.

Let's get some statistics. Britain has highest divorce rate in Europe (4 out of 10 marriages), Canada and Japan (1 out of 3 marriages), Zimbabwe (2 out of every 5 marriage) and Spain (1 out of 8 marriages.) Also in Australia, divorce rates have quadrupled since 1980's, and in United States and other lands, teenage mothers and children born out of wedlock, have been on rise.

In other countries, like Germany, traditional family has totally been abandoned. In that country, single persons and individuals account for a majority of families. And in France, people are marrying less, and divorcing more.

The effect of broken families -- oldest human institution -- is already telling on us. What with violence that we see around us today?

Family disintegration has led to fall of great empires like Rome and Greece. May it not lead to end of our civilization!

But why are married couples increasingly getting divorce certificates or simply living as roommates, or what has been called emotional divorce? Because they started their marriages with wrong foot. And head to wrong people to seek advice -- marriage counselors.

These series of articles will help you to get your marriage on a good start, and stay married. Because it will tell you God's view about marriage. And since God is creator and originator of marriage, he is best authority on this matter.

In these series, you will find answers to questions that you may have asked such as: How can I find a compatible mate? What are rules of dating? How do I know if I am ready for marriage? What happens on wedding day? What is needed for a successful marriage? How should disagreements be settled? What is my role in family? How can a husband get his wife's respect? Why does a wife need her husband's love? Who is decision maker? What about children? And many more…

But first; folks, let us look out for dangers in a marriage. Knowing these dangers, like a sailor knowing location of hidden rocks under sea, will help you to find success in your courtship and marriage, sex and happiness.

So, what are they?

Chapter Two

"It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love." --DR. KAREN KAYSER.

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Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your destiny. But you see, marriage is like a packed theater with some uninterested spectators wanting to get out, and other interested ones waiting outside, wishing to get in.

If you think though that marriage can solve all of your problems, you are mistaken. Ask a married friend. But it can give you a measure of security and satisfaction if you play by rules.

But we forget rules before we rush into matrimony. And when a sailor forgets his navigation rules, he suffers a shipwreck.

“Most marriage failures are courtship failures” -- PAUL H. LANDIS

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And that’s true. A good courtship makes a good marriage. But problem is that some do not even know purpose of courtship, and when to begin it.

Most courtships are no less than crushes -- an infatuated love for a favorite teacher, pop star or some other celeb. And this starts earlier in girls than in boys.

These daydreamers, however, end up sick and depressed. Because truth is that they may never get to meet such one in person, all their life. Even when they do, there is little chance that love they crave for such “idols” will be returned. In most cases those “idols” are not even aware of “love.”

So be real about your date. And this would involve asking yourself some personal questions that will help you to find out if you are not deceiving yourself. These questions are: How well do I really know this person? Am I blinded to his personal flaws? Is person perfect? Have I fallen in love with an image? Would I ever get to meet this person in my life?

If answers you get make you think that you are on wrong road, put your automobile in reverse, fast. Do things that will keep you busy. Stop romanticizing. Seek help from your parents, or friends.

Then someday, you will find “real love”, and your right date. But before you start seeing each other, you have to be warned of dark side of dating.

The Dangers of Dating

Do not date for fun. Dating should start when you are ready for marriage. In fact it is part of process of getting right marriage mate.

Teenagers and others, who dated for fun of it, have ended up committing sexual immorality before knowing it. It normally starts with holding hands, an innocent kiss, then fondling with intimate body parts, and finally, sex.

Then one day relationship breaks up, leaving couples to suffer emotional trauma. Some end up in hospital beds, or psychiatric homes, some commit abortions while others commit suicide. Others live for life with a wounded conscience. Would you want that to happen to you? Of course not.

Dating itself is not wrong. But it is wrong to date for wrong reason. The following questions will help you to have a successful courtship.

Why am I dating?

It is okay if you are dating with marriage in view. But it is wrong when you are just flirting around with a member of opposite sex, just to get attention.

Would dating help me to grow emotionally?

Limiting yourself to a boy-girl relationship will hinder your social and emotional development. This will not help your maturity and prepare you to select a mate.

Do you want to hurt yourself?

If you pursue an unrealistic relationship, you will hurt yourself later. You may be disappointed by other person. And it may take you some time to regain your composure.

What do my parents and others say about relationship?

Your friends or parents may draw your attention to dangers in your relationship. Would it not be wise for you to take a hard look at facts, and pack it up? After all, they have affection for you, and your parents who are older and wiser, should know better.

Will I be able to keep my courtship honorable?

This means that your relationship should not cross from seeing each other, to having premarital sex. So if your date decides to call off relationship, you would still have kept your chastity and moral integrity intact. The reverse is bad news.

The following are rules of dating.

Do not date until you are old enough and ready to get married.

Do not date someone you don’t love.

Keep your relationship chaste.

Do not go to your date alone. Have a chaperon by you.

Be properly dressed, and be on time when you visit your date.

Keep your visit informal and relaxed. Converse and listen well.

Try to know as much as possible about your date.

Do not dodge sensitive matters. Discuss them.