Stealing Lives

Like a sneak thief, Alzheimer’s disease comes quietly. Although it steals only a tiny bit at a time, it invades relentlessly. Gradually, victim’s losses -- memory, self-awareness, dignity -- become visible to world. The losses of spouse and family are almost invisible. These may be cruelest of all because these victims are fully aware. Now that ravages of Alzheimer’s disease are so obvious in my husband Fred, I am continuously reminded of my own losses as well as his. Dear friends inquire often about Fred’s condition, often expressing their dismay at what he has lost, at disintegration of someone so involved in living. But, while they express concern for my health and my ability to meet his current needs, they never ask what I have lost. I’d like them to understand. Conversation During busy period of our marriage, mealtime was highlight of my day. Fred worked long hours as an aeronautical engineer, my days were full as a mother, student, homemaker, but at mealtimes we had time to talk, to discuss our needs and expectations. It was usually a time we exchanged ideas or perhaps plans for next day. Now, mealtime is quiet because conversation has disappeared. There are no ideas to ponder, no plans to make, no opinions about politics, or neighbors. Good conversation was so ever present at our home that I took it for granted. Losing it has been painful. Decision Making I have also lost a partner in decision-making. There were always big decisions – what house to buy, when to buy a new care, where to invest money, and where Phyllis should go to college. But little decisions -- what to have for supper, what movie we would see – these were everyday decisions that made day go well. Fred did not really care how we arranged furniture or what flowers we planted outside, but he would offer opinions when asked. He would help if I needed it. Now, I must make every decision alone. I miss his voice deeply. Travel From beginning of our life together, we agreed completely on joy of traveling. For first years there was no money for long or expensive trips, but we found ways to enjoy weekend jaunts and brief visits with our families. In time, we were able to save for specific targets – to Europe, cruises to Caribbean area, even to Orient – and there was always a plan in waiting for next time. Now, for past ten years, there have been no trips more than 30 miles from home. There are no plans in future, and that is a great loss.

Weight Loss Advice

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