Speak Up For Yourself, Create and Communicate Boundries

Written by Kimberly Fulcher


Do you have internal rules about how you expectrepparttar people in your life to treat you?  Are you comfortable speaking up for yourself when someone crosses one of those lines?  Are you able to say no when you don't want to participate in something you've been asked to consider? 

Your ability to speak up for yourself, and to say no are directly related to your ability to set boundaries.  In this lesson, I'd like to explore what a boundary is, and identify where you may need to set and enforce boundaries in your life.

Boundaries

A boundary is a limit, or a behavioral line which cannot be crossed.  The manner in which you allow others to interact with you is governed byrepparttar 123327 interpersonal boundaries you've defined in your life, and your enforcement of these boundaries isrepparttar 123328 primary way you protect your emotional self.

When I work with someone to establish a personal system of boundaries we focus on three areas of behavior.  They include;repparttar 123329 manner in which you are spoken to,repparttar 123330 requests that are made of you, andrepparttar 123331 physical space surrounding you.  Let's take a look at each of these areas.

Word Boundaries
The manner in which another individual speaks to you is reflective of bothrepparttar 123332 level of respect that person has for you, andrepparttar 123333 standard of behaviorrepparttar 123334 person holds themselves to.  While you cannot impactrepparttar 123335 standards of another person, you can require a standard of communication for their interaction with you.

I'll use my own boundaries as an example in this area.  I will not allow another person to raise their voice when speaking to me, to speak sarcastically or caustically to me, or to direct mean spirited teasing at me.  I have clearly defined my parameters for acceptable behavior in this area, and I am willing to enforce them when necessary.

Requirement Boundaries
Requirement boundaries are applicable torepparttar 123336 expectations that another person has about how you will allocate and invest your resources.  When another individual makes a request of you which you'd prefer to decline, you're in your requirement boundary zone.

I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't supportrepparttar 123337 people in your life.  I am suggesting that inrepparttar 123338 event that you'd rather not participate in something, and you find yourself doing so out of a sense of obligation, you're not being true to yourself   It is in these instances that you may want to consider establishing clear boundaries.


Physical Boundaries
Have you ever had a conversation with an individual who continually moved into your space?  Have you known a person who repetitively touched you as you spoke with them?  These people lacked an understanding of physical boundaries.

A physical boundary supports your ability to create and maintain an

Mary's Dream: A True Life Story

Written by Arthur Zulu


Mary's Dream: A True Life Story The true story of a poor girl's quest for a Bible. (True Story)

She walked several kilometers bare- footed inrepparttar winter cold to buy a Bible. But it was sold out before she got to her destination. What happened? Find out.

There are dreams and there are dreams. And there are dreamers and there are dreamers too. Some of these dreamers realize their dreams, while others have had their names writ in water. In some, theirs may be an ambition to rule empires, while for other young men,repparttar 123326 mere accomplishment of marrying a fair lady and living happily with her ever after in a hanging garden beside a blue sea, is a big dream.

Now consider one of these dreamers who dreams of owing a Bible. Butrepparttar 123327 family being very poor could barely provide food forrepparttar 123328 members, not to talk of buying a Bible. Now this dreamer is notrepparttar 123329 Biblical Joseph,repparttar 123330 dreamer. But her name is Mary Jones, a sixteen - year old girl born 1784 in a village in Wales that goes byrepparttar 123331 curious name of Llanfihangel.

There is nothing wrong to dream of owning a Bible though. Butrepparttar 123332 odds against her are many. Becauserepparttar 123333 girl lived inrepparttar 123334 wrong century and dreamed inrepparttar 123335 wrong times. In those days, to own a Bible was to die. Like William Tyndale. Like Jan Hus. Like so many others.

But big dreamers are die- hards. And Mary was one of them. So this daughter of poor weavers started saving whatever money that she got in order to buy a Bible. It was Mary's parents that aroused her interest inrepparttar 123336 Bible. They told her Bible stories and instilledrepparttar 123337 fear of God in her heart. Sincerepparttar 123338 family never had a Bible, Mary often read a neighbor's Welsh Bible.

Then when she was sixteen years old inrepparttar 123339 year 1800, news came that a few Welsh Bibles were available for sale atrepparttar 123340 local church at Bala. She checked her box of coins. It was full. She told her parents that her dream was coming true. For she was going to Bala to buy her own copy ofrepparttar 123341 Bible.

The journey to Bala itself was not an easy one. From Llanfiangel inrepparttar 123342 Atlantic coastline up to Bala inrepparttar 123343 hinterland is over 40 kilometers. Again, she was to walk barefooted inrepparttar 123344 middle of winter and without a winter coat or booth to get there. Furthermore, it was a steepy mountainous terrain, often rising, falling, and meandering here and there. And worse: it was a highway for robbers.

Few parents would allow a sixteen - year old daughter to take a risk. But few families have sixteen year olds who have a love forrepparttar 123345 Bible. So onrepparttar 123346 day of Mary's departure Mr. and Mrs. Jones bought bread and dried meat that would last her journey, tied them up in a large white handkerchief and put it in a basket.

Mary ties her coins in a neck handkerchief, puts it inrepparttar 123347 pocket of her long dress, adorns a hat and carries her basket of provisions. And with a hug, a kiss and a goodbye from her parents, she startsrepparttar 123348 long, uncertain journey to Bala.

She had thought of makingrepparttar 123349 journey in three days. She walked 18 kilometersrepparttar 123350 first day. It was very cold and she shook all alongrepparttar 123351 journey. She only stopped to eat and rest under a tree. She was almost dropping dead when she sighted a watchman warming himself beside a fire in a village gate house. Not wanting to spendrepparttar 123352 money by lodging in an inn, she beggedrepparttar 123353 watchman that he allow her to passrepparttar 123354 night inrepparttar 123355 gate house.

"No problem" saidrepparttar 123356 old man spreading his palms byrepparttar 123357 fire. "But who ye and where art thou goest this winter cold?" he asked.

"I am Mary. Going to Bala."

"That's 22 kilometers away, and no winter boots and coat" saidrepparttar 123358 old man absent mindedly. "Here's some hot soup. It'll do ye some good"

With that, he poursrepparttar 123359 hot soup in two bowls. And they drink and talk ofrepparttar 123360 weather. Before .long,repparttar 123361 old watchman falls asleep followed byrepparttar 123362 tired Mary.

Inrepparttar 123363 morning, she thanksrepparttar 123364 old man, washed her face and continues her journey. Today, she walks 15 kilometers, stopping twice to rest and eat. What makesrepparttar 123365 journey hard, is that she would have to climb and descend mountains. Her legs swoll and ached. And at night, she met a group of weavers who were working throughrepparttar 123366 night by a fireside. She indicated her willingness to help inrepparttar 123367 loom for an opportunity to stay forrepparttar 123368 night.

The curious weavers received her after hearing her story. She worked for a while and was allowed to even sleep inrepparttar 123369 early morning hours. They even gave her a coin before she left inrepparttar 123370 morning. When she was exhausted inrepparttar 123371 evening, she dragged herself into an unlit gate house atrepparttar 123372 outskirt of a village. The watchman was not there. Perhaps, he will be coming later, she thought. And she lay on a mat and slept away.

It was 2 am. Two thieves, Red Devil and Black Night were looking for someone to rob. The road was empty. It was plain that they would have to go hungry and empty handed. Andrepparttar 123373 night was cold. They looked intorepparttar 123374 dark gate house. The night watchman didn't come. So they decided to go in and rest for a while beforerepparttar 123375 break of dawn. But to their surprise they found a girl fast asleep there. Red devil held her throat, while black night searched and took her money. After that, they take her remaining bread and meat, leavingrepparttar 123376 cloth andrepparttar 123377 basket; and ran away.

.............................................

The local apothecary generally called Dr. Hades found it unusual to be woken by this barefooted girl with a basket this early morning. After listening to her, he asked:

"Do you know them that stole your money?"

"No" was Mary's answer.

"And is that why you want to drink arsenic to kill yourself?

"Yes" she replies.

"But where did you getrepparttar 123378 coin you want to use to pay forrepparttar 123379 poison?"

She explained that it was a gift from some weavers whom she had helped to weaverepparttar 123380 night before. But Dr. Hades was not satisfied with her answer. Perhaps,repparttar 123381 girl is a run-away—one of these bad girls inrepparttar 123382 neighborhood. Perhaps, she needs food and a good sleep. He goes to an inner room, returns with a mixture which he gives to her, and asks her to userepparttar 123383 coin to buy some food.

Mary thanks him and walks torepparttar 123384 gatehouse. She spreadrepparttar 123385 white handkerchief onrepparttar 123386 ground, finds a piece of rock and starts to write a suicide note on it,repparttar 123387 bottle of arsenic by her side. But halfway, she falls asleep.

...............................................

Lord Godsend, a generous rich man, happened to be passing through that road at that time. He was driven in his horse- drawn chariot by Jonny, who is inrepparttar 123388 habit of swearing byrepparttar 123389 minute.

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
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