Below is a letter I wrote to following organizations:
S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous)
N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for Advancement of People Who Hate Spam)
P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam)
P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle Choice)
S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for Advancement of People Who Really Really Really Hate Spam)
P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears)
And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services.
DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS,
I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email:
I suggest we disband myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization:
The Spammish Inquisition!
And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!
WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?
You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!
I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!
If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?
Don't think so.
I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things, too, like pedophiles and Nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.