Every Sunday in spring and summer an acquaintance I have goes out all day to yard sales. It's her ritual, her habit, and "thing" she does on Sunday. She's addicted! She's really looking for something to feed her Spirit and Soul, make her feel good, change her life, get what she wants; all while, all around her she is drowning in clutter.

Many of things we do, think, say, and way we act or react is out of habit. Most of time we are totally unaware of these actions, thoughts, or sayings because they are so ingrained into our fiber of being, or we are in some kind of pain.

If you want to correct, change, or replace a habit, you must first become aware of old habit and replace it with a more desirable habit.

To break an unwanted habit, such as hitting yard sales every Sunday or shopping till you drop, I feel you must look deep within yourself to discover true reason you are "spending" like there's no tomorrow, or bringing home stuff you really have NO need or space for! You must admit you have a habit that is undesirable, and be committed to changing.

Getting "sober" or becoming more mindful of your actions and undesirable habits will help you become more aware of what you are buying, saving, or hoarding, and why. It will allow you to be more in tune with yourself, and cause you to stop and listen. Hopefully you can correct habits of "shopping till you drop, piling up, saving everything for someday, or just in case."

For one whole day, be as conscious as possible of ALL your actions, thoughts, and sayings towards your clutter, your shopping, and of saving stuff; from time your eyes open to close and all time in between. Pay close attention to emotional causes of your clutter behavior and what effect it is having on you and possibly those around you. Question yourself; ask why you do things you do.

What is your Spirit and Soul lacking, or what fears do you have that you feel you must buy, collect, or hoard in order to replace that "lack" or feed that fear?

Many times I have arrived at a clients home or office where it is not uncommon that they start sobbing and pleading for my help.

As I work with clients, I get to know a lot about them and their life. Being an "old-hat" at this I can usually see or sense what their "true" problem is. Not wanting to invade what little privacy they have left, I usually wait for them to discover or confess what has brought them close to point of no return. What has made them into a "shop till you drop," "a collector of things," "a pack-rat," a QVC junkie, or a "just in case" clutter person.

It always comes down to, in one way or another; their Spirit and Soul, aren't being feed, fear, or both.

Four Top Emotional Reasons for Your Clutter:

1. Your Spirit, body, and mind aren't getting any love, intimacy, or attention.

2. You over compensate because you had little growing up, so you want it now and you want your children to have it all too!

3. You have fear or guilt of getting rid of things that were given to you.

4. You have so much pain and sadness you think all your stuff will make it better - it doesn't!

Is your clutter holding you hostage because of your fear of letting go, fear of not being loved, fear of not being a good parent?

What emotional reason is causing your clutter problems? What are you doing that might be replacing something missing in your life? Maybe you aren't even aware of it yet. Stop and really think on this. Ask yourself WHY you do things you do. Be honest with yourself. It's not always easy, I know. This question can open up a lot of other questions and/or painful memories.

Once you become aware of WHY, you can start to move forward and discover HOW. How can you change these habits, rituals, and compulsions?

Just like an addict, you need to start rehabilitating your life. Why not correct emotional lacking or fear, and replace addiction of clutter with sobriety of getting rid of your clutter?

For next 31 days, every time you start to bring something into your life - STOP - and ask yourself, "Why do I feel I need this? Why do I want this? What is it replacing in my life? What has just happened; what did I just feel (or not feel), or think that makes me WANT this?

For next four issues of Balance issue of OverHall IT! we will examine emotional reasons that might be cause of your clutter. Please remember that these are top four EMOTIONAL reasons I've come across with clients. If you have any others that you would like to share, please email me.

This month let's take a closer look at Emotional Reason number 1.

Love, Intimacy, and Attention:

"I don't have anyone to love me," or "My partner and I barely talk, let alone have relationships," or "I keep bringing things into home and piling up, and then I get noticed, I get some attention, although it's usually negative attention." I hear things like this ALL time,

Any of those sound familiar?

Let's do a little exercise.

Answer questions below honestly, and write them down.

1. Do you love yourself, and what do you love about yourself?

" Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want." --Sue Bender, quoted in The Feminine Face of God

Pain or sadness can stem from many factors and sources in your life, and manifest in just as many ways, one of which could be your clutter problem.

Do you take a dose of pain or sadness "medicine" by not letting go of unused stuff or going out and becoming financial stressed by making purchases you won't use?

What is your coping mechanism for your pain or sadness? Your stuff? What you hoard? Why you're a pack rat? Why you might overcompensate, overindulgence, shop 'til you drop, be a QVC Junkie, an E-Commerce shopper, or an Auction addict?

Your pain or sadness might stem from you or your family having to endure great losses. Losses in your life can surely make you hold tight to stuff your familiar with, especially if loss was a loved one. To leave everything just as it was, or to hold on to departed loved ones stuff will leave no room for you to grow or to go forward with your life.

One simple way to keep your loved ones memories alive, while not keeping all their stuff, is to create an altar that houses precious memories and select items. You can create an altar on your dresser, a mantel, or a shelf.

What about loss from nature or manmade disasters: flood, fire, earthquake, hurricane, war, and refugee? These types of losses in your past probably help you appreciate things you do have and obtain. BUT it can also lead to overcompensation, holding on to, pack ratting, just in case, or a someday mentally. Be very careful when recovering from a disaster, focusing on keeping balance, and finding uses for all that you possess.

Pain or Sadness Exercise: >>What pain or sadness are you carrying around on your back? >>Is your pain or sadness stemming from something that occurred a month, year, five or ten years ago? Longer? >>When are you going to release this pain, this sadness? >>When was last time you felt fulfilled, really happy, without sadness or pain? >>Can you see it? >>What did it feel like? >>What is missing from your life that you don't feel fulfilled and you are using "stuff" as a substitute or an escape from your suffering? >>Is it possible that you mask your pain or sadness with STUFF, to protect yourself? >>Haven't you hurt or paid long enough? >>When are you going to stop hurting and get some help?

All piles, all crammed rooms, stuffed closets, overcrowded attic and basement, all your "stuff" might have been yesterdays solutions to your pain or sadness but now have become your problems today!

Eventually you will see that by buying or bringing more "stuff" into your life or your children's life will only temporarily solve your problems, or situations. A quick fix. And eventually, you will have too much "stuff," too many piles. This overspending and over buying can bring you several more problems: debt and clutter, less space, and even add to your pain or sadness. You haven't solved a thing. As a matter of fact, you've made matters worse for yourself, and possibly for others around you. One day you will have to deal with these new problems and situations. Finding new solutions. Hopefully healthy remedies.

When you begin clearing out your clutter you'll create a vacuum and nature abhors a vacuum. But don't worry because something or someone will soon rush in to take place of where your clutter use to reside. The form of replacement wouldn't necessarily be more STUFF. It may surprise you that someone or something (i.e. opportunities) might come into your heart, your Spirit, or your life might be filled with relief or happiness. Now you might have ability to pursue and accomplish what you'd really like to do or be, now that you've made room.

Are you open to idea of being happy? If you are able to connect with your pain or sadness, and get it out, you'll be able to break chains, unwanted habits of clutter.