Let me ask you a question. Are you ashamed that your child is an introvert? An honest answer to this question is a positive step toward improving your relationship with your introverted child, now and forever. How can you support your child in finding his or her place in this world if you are secretly disappointed that they aren't something they can never be ...
life of party!
If you apologize for fact that your child is introverted, even to yourself, you are not alone. Until very recently, introversion was looked at quite negatively. These are some of qualities people have historically associated with word introvert: shy, withdrawn, intense, anti-social, backward, reclusive, depressed and even mentally ill. More recently -- nerd, looser and geek.
It's time for a new look at introversion. It may come as a surprise to you that introverts are a legitimate personality type. Introverts comprise between 10-30% of population. The problem is that their self image is defined almost exclusively by that other 70% (or more) extroverts who don't understand them and think they are wrong because they are different.
This is like saying a woman is wrong because she is not like a man. We have outgrown this rigid thinking in many areas of our culture, but area of introversion and extroversion is one of last frontiers.
As parent of an introverted child, I hope you will join in crusade to make sure that these children grow up with an accurate understanding of themselves and a positive sense of self. You can begin process of building your introverted child's self esteem by learning more about introverts.
Let's look at some of important characteristics of introverts, especially during school year.
Introverts are territorial. They require peace, quiet and time alone in order to recharge their batteries. Your child needs a room with a door that closes!
Introverts give energy when they are interacting with others. This means that all those popular, outgoing extroverts take energy from introverts like your child when they are together in groups. Introverts can become drained during a normal shcool day that requires a good deal of social interaction. They get no personal rewards for this and are often so tired at end of day, they want to go to their room with door shut! Please let them.
Introverts hate small talk. They learn by thinking things over, connecting dots, reading and writing. Class participation is utterly meaningless to an introvert and an irritant. So is "group work". Nowadays teachers are more aware of children's different learning styles, but if teacher is behind times, at least you are there to commiserate with your introverted child when too much class participation is required.
Introverts need time to prepare and are especially mortified at public embarrassment. This means that you will want to "rehearse" your introverted child for major "public appearances" such as family weddings or holiday gatherings where they are required to shake hands and interact with adults. Think of a few appropriate phrases and help your child to rehearse them. This works like a charm!
