Q: Dear Me, I recently took my teenage daughter shopping at mall. The experience raised two questions. (1) What business lessons might be learned from such a foray into teen commerce; and (2) What heck was I thinking? -- Sincerely, Me

A: Dear Me, great questions! Let me answer them in reverse order since second question is probably one causing you most concern.

What was I thinking? Only good Lord knows. I vaguely recall complaining that my fifteen-year-old daughter, who we'll call "Chelsea" (because that's her name), didn't spend enough time with her dear old dad anymore. It's a complaint that every dad of a teenage girl formerly known as "my baby" has made at one time or another. I also recall my insightful wife telling me that if I wanted to spend time with Chelsea now that she was a teenager I would have to do it in her element, which happens to be any large structure with word "Mall" on side. A fitting analogy would be that if you want to spend time with a moody tiger you have to go into jungle to do it.

No offense to my mall merchant brothers and sisters, but a trip into deepest jungle is more appealing to me than a trip to mall. I get no joy out of trudging from store to store, attempting to communicate with salespeople from other planets, browsing discount racks of last season's dollar merchandise and peering into windows at mannequins that seem to be in some sort of inanimate pain (why can't they make a happy mannequin?).

Bottom line: I'm a guy. It is programmed deep within my genetic code to hold such things in high disregard. But so strong is my love for my daughter that I pushed my true feelings aside and off we went to mall last Saturday morning. I called it, "Driving green mile…"

I was perfectly fine walking through Sears (a real man's store). I held my own when we cruised through Spencer's Gifts (I found Ozzy Osborne bobble-head doll to be quite life-like). But when we walked into one of those stores that specialize in clothing and accessories for younger generation my psyche all but shutdown. Within minutes I found myself standing at back of store holding my daughter's purse while she tried on small swatches of material that store was trying to pass off as clothing. It was there, standing among mopey mannequins and teeny-tiny underwear and designer nose rings, that I realized I was witnessing good old American commerce at work.

This leads us back to first question: are there business lessons to be learned from a trip to mall? As young folks would say, "Dude, definitely!"

The following observations can be applied to most businesses, not just to retailers that cater to Generation Why.

A: Shame on you, Norris. There is no such thing as a dumb business question. OK, that's not exactly true. There are dumb business questions and I do get quite a few of them. Not through this column, of course. People intelligent enough to actually use a computer and surf World Wide Web would never submit dumb questions now, would they. OK, that's a lie, too. I've gotten a few head-scratchers in response to this column. You know who you are, but don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

I have a confession to make. Writing an advice column, whether it be advice for love or money or business, is often hard to do with a straight face. Occasionally a question comes over digital transom that just makes me go, "Huh?"

It's kind of like trying to stifle a giggle when Grandma breaks wind at Sunday dinner. Some things are just better left ignored.

Of course it's hard to blame a dumb business question on dog.

I've been writing advice columns for a long time. Most of requests for advice I receive are sincere and intelligent, and as a (usually) sincere and (somewhat) intelligent columnist, I feel obligated to dispense best advice I can for betterment of person who asked question.

However, once in a while a real stinker hits old email box and it takes everything I've got to resist shooting back an answer that is worthy of question asked.

In other words, when I get a dumb question, my gut reaction is to respond with an answer of equal intelligence, or lack thereof. Something subtle, like, "Forget business, my friend. The best thing you can do for mankind is to go find a pair of sharp scissors and run… really fast…"

Stupid is as stupid does, Forrest. Greater words of wisdom have rarely been offered before or since.