In order to be clear that you really want to stop your divorce if you're thinking about getting a divorce, you should use any or all of following steps to make that determination:

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 1: Examine why you're thinking about getting a divorce and clearly define and outline those reasons.

This is a vital part of determining whether you really do want to stop your divorce. It is easy to naturally think you should get a divorce if feel empty, confused, alone, frustrated, etc. But do yourself a favor, figure out what actually has you feeling like you do and write it down. Only then will you be able to decide whether you should make a serious effort trying to stop your divorce.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 2: Determine if guilt is seemingly forcing you to think about wanting to stop your divorce of if there's something inside you that really wants to stop divorce.

Guilt can play a factor when you're thinking about getting a divorce, don't let it be determining factor for wanting to stop your divorce. If guilt is major reason that you want to stop your divorce, sit down and re-think everything. Ask yourself if you'll feel sorry for your spouse because you know how he or she will react to your decision to get a divorce. You will know if guilt is swaying you one way or another.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 3: Use projection to foresee how how your spouse will react if you try to stop your divorce.

For uninitiated, Filene's Basement is one of most famous bargain basements in United States. Lurking beneath Filene's Department store in Downtown Boston, "The Basement" is a place where merchandise is continually marked down and competition for best buys is fierce. There's even a day each Spring when wedding dresses sell so cheaply that scuffles break out in aisles.

I prefer my shopping nonviolent. But still, prospect of a great big store full of unexplored "stuff" is more exciting to me than a giant Easter Egg hunt is to average five year old. I know I'm going to find Easter Eggs (i.e., "hidden treasures"). I just have to uncover their secret little hiding places. That's part of fun!

I have one small problem, though...

Shopping is only fun if I'm not looking for anything in particular. As soon as there's a "list" involved, it starts to feel like work! Add in idea that I'm looking for some very special (yet unspecified) item for someone else, and pressure's really on. If someone says to me, "You must go forth and find something for less than $100 that will make your mother-in-law ecstatically happy", it stops me cold. I become as helpless as a man (Sorry guys!).

Gift Shopping. Arrrghh!

"What", I ask myself, "is my Mother-in-Law's version of an Easter Egg ?" Where are all those clever gift ideas when I need them? Where are they ever?

Panic sets in. Procrastination comes next. Pretty soon I've buried whole thing in my subconscious, hoping it will "just go away". It doesn't, of course. Like school exams and work deadlines, gift-giving occasions keep on coming -- inevitably and way too often. And those great gift ideas remain as elusive as ever.

So what's a person to do?

My answer was always to get a big pot of coffee and pull an all-nighter.

Umm, I mean, I'd wait until last minute and then shop until stores closed. Sure, I'd manage to come up with a few decent gift ideas and some passable gifts. But it's no way to live. And I always knew I could have done better.

I knew things had to change. I knew I had to uncover secrets possessed by expert gift-givers...