Shattered IllusionsWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
Man is only animal that finds his own existence a problem he has to solve and from which he cannot escape. In same sense man is only animal who knows he must die. Eric Fromm
The bombing of New York’s twin towers and Pentagon in Washington, DC as well as hijacking of four U.S. planes that resulted in thousands of murders has shattered our soul’s sense of safety. Never again will we be a nation secure in illusion that as a country and as individuals, we are protected and sheltered. We are a people accustomed to viewing pyrotechnic towers as an every day event on both big and little screens. Few of us are prepared for reality of burning towers forever flattened. New York’s crushed geographic landscape is a metaphor for an enemy’s attempt to destroy our country, our economy, our spirit and ourselves.
But, it will not work. Witness resolute and dignified way those of big apple continue their lives. A big bite has been taken, but with nary a New York raspberry heard, great city wends its way. So does less flamboyant Capital and so does our nation.
But, will we move forward unscathed? No! Never again will we get on a plane without our stomachs churning or our hearts skipping a beat. Few of us will enter a crowed building in a major city without wondering if we will emerge safely. We will continue to live as normally as we can, much as English during World War II continued to plant their gardens’ while bombs were exploding about them. That is as it should be, for even under duress life must go on.
Sex With Your ExWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
The death of a marriage must be mourned like any other lost relationship. It is often experienced as a death of family, of commitment, hope, or a dream. Dreams die-hard as there is nothing tangible about them and no place to put “body.” When one is a widow or a widower entire world knows you have experienced a death and there are rituals to help you go through grieving process. When you get divorced, few who haven’t been there realize suffering you go through and support is often brief or completely lacking. This is a time to reach out for help. Perhaps you should seek a divorce group, professional help, or spend time with really good friends?
SEX WITH YOUR EX
You’ve gotten a divorce and you are sure you never want to see your ex spouse again. Sex was never real problem anyway, and certainly not fundamental reason for divorce. Then one night you get together and have dinner to talk about kids. You’re feeling lonely and your mind goes blank unable to remember many bad times you had together. Now what was so awful about your ex anyway? Why did you get divorced? The next thing you know one thing leads to another and you’ve gone to bed together. Maybe this even happens more than once. You begin to wonder if there is anything wrong with this pull back to old and familiar. After all you have nothing else in works right now anyway.
Going to bed with your ex is a lot more common than most people realize. A lot of divorcing partners have sex with their ex or soon to be ex at least once, usually, within a four to six month period after leaving when emotions are running up and down like a jumbo roller coaster ride. But, emotions involved with this kind of sexual encounter are quite different from those of a constant relationship belonging to a loving married couple.
Some individuals go to bed with their ex viewing experience as “one last goodbye,” others as a way to convince themselves that what they thought always worked in their relationship really isn’t same anymore. And, still others see it as a safety net, satisfying their sexual need without having to maintain total relationship.