It’s that time of year again: Time for
family vacation. It’s a good time to rethink some things like perfectionism, expectations, and meaning of word “vacation.”First of all, we call it a “vacation,” but if you’re parent, it isn’t going to be one. Maybe I was slow, but it took me quite a while to figure out that I, parent (and a single-parent at that), was going to work even harder on a vacation than at home, and that it wouldn’t be a relaxing time for me. After all, I was taking boys to new places where they would be full of new ideas, and it always required more supervision than at home. As soon as we hit beach, outrageous demands began. One ran one way, other another. Being in a new place, they weren’t sure what rules were, and they had to be re-established. Being around new things, they weren’t always as cautious as they should be, and I had to be vigilant. They got sick, got fishing hooks in their thumbs, stepped on man-o-wars, rental car got a flat, resort room’s air conditioning broke and we had to pack up and change rooms, and more than once someone was throwing up all night long. While we always had a wonderful time, and I always returned happy (and of course kids did), I often returned more tired than when I’d left!
I began to name these “The Kids’ Vacations,” just so I kept my expectations in line with reality, and to plan vacation-vacations for myself – getaways where I could relax in ways I needed to. The Kids’ Vacations were for having fun as a family! And kids don’t need a “vacation.” They’re always high energy and on-the-go, yes?
Here are some things to keep in mind as you plan and take family vacation that can keep you from unrealistic expectations which will erode your experience:
1.Kids are likely to become more boisterous on a vacation, because of all new fun things. New experiences and new situations will present things they haven’t encountered before, so you have to be on guard about their safety on a constant basis. Try and GO rested; don’t plan on COMING HOME rested. 2.Think of it as a fun adventure for family where you get to know one another better and spend time together under new circumstances. Then whatever happens will fall in line.
3.There are more options all time where childcare is also available. Many resorts and cruise lines offer programs for children and teens that provide great activities, supervision, and a chance for them to make new friends, while giving you some adult time to yourself. Consider this option.
4.Consider bringing along a mother’s helper, or older niece or nephew, or willing grandmother to help with children.
5.Because it’s all new, anticipate some irregularities, and relax into situation. It’s typical when we get stressed to tighten up and become rigid and this only makes things worse. Use your emotional intelligence to be flexible and creative. If your child has never been fishing before, or never been to a bit-city museum, you can’t anticipate all things they can go wrong, so don’t be surprised if they do. It’s part of new learning experiences. If they’ve never participated in formal night on a cruise, their table manners may not be quite in line. Anticipate what you can. Deal with what happens.
