Sharin' Food With WomenWritten by Ed Williams
Most of you who read my columns know that I love women. Absolutely love them. To me, women are God’s finest creation, and then some. The most pleasurable and meaningful things I’ve ever done in my life involve women, and I’m more than proud to admit it. But, even with all things they have going for them, even with all of their plusses, women do manage to do one thing that drives me absolutely crazy. And then some.To illustrate what I‘m talking about, imagine a man and a woman at a nice restaurant. They’re checking out menu, and are about to order dinner. The waiter comes up to take their order, and proceeds to take lady’s first. After taking it, he asks man what he would like to order. And from here conversation goes something like this... Man: “Waiter, I’ll take grilled scallops with just a touch of lemon juice on them.” Waiter: “Yes sir, an excellent choice.” Woman (to man): “Gosh honey, I almost ordered that myself. It sure does look good, and I just couldn’t decide between scallops and Italian chicken. No mind then, I may just eat one or two of yours. You won‘t mind, will you?” ZING! It never fails - I hate it when women do that! You’d never see a guy order something, look over at another guy who’s ordered something different, and say, “Gosh Ben, you ordered something pretty tasty there. Mind if I try some of it when they bring it out?” If you did happen to hear a guy say something like that, he’d probably also be discussing interior decorating, window treatments, or worse yet, why Clint Eastwood movies are too violent. Not exactly a man’s man, for sure. On other hand, women are deathly serious when they tell you they want to eat something off your plate. They fully intend, when food’s brought out, to eat whatever they desire. And this drives me crazy for following two reasons: 1. There’s just something inherently unsanitary about something jabbing a fork they’re been eating off of into your food. I mean, just think about it, it can‘t be a good thing. I can almost visualize hordes of germs pole vaulting off that tainted fork right down into my food. Then, I can see them running around all over my steak, planting little germ country victory flags on it that say, “Conquered, in name of Germobia.” Finally, I can almost hear germs laughing as they jump up on my fork, saying, “Well boys, let’s deal a little dysentery to our good friend Ed here!”
| | Be Mine...Bejeweled...Beware. Advice for Buying Gemstone JewelryWritten by Larry Denton
Gemstones can be naturally mined, laboratory-created or total imitation. Natural gemstones (like rubies, sapphires, diamonds), as name implies, were made by Mother Nature. Stones created in a lab can look identical to stones mined from earth since they have essentially same chemical, physical and visual properties as natural gemstones. The major difference is cost. Laboratory-created stones do not have rarity or uniqueness of naturally colored stones and, consequently, are much less expensive than naturally mined stones. Because these synthetic stones look similar to real stones, they must be identified (labeled) as being lab-created. In contrast, imitation stones look like natural stones in appearance only, and may be glass, plastic, or less costly stones.Gemstones can be measured by weight, size or both. The basic unit for weighing gemstones is carat (with a C), which is equal to one-fifth of a gram. Carats are divided into 100 smaller units, called points. For example, a half-carat gemstone would weigh .50 carats or 50 points. When gemstones are measured by dimensions, size is expressed in millimeters (for example, 7x5 mm.). Many gemstones are treated in some manner to improve their appearance or durability, or even change their color. Jewelers should tell you whether gemstone you are considering has been treated since it may affect its value or require some special care. Diamonds, proverbial girls' best friend, are valued on four basic criteria: color, clarity, cut, and carat. The color of a diamond is usually "graded" on a scale. However, scales are not uniform: a "D" may be best color on one scale, but not for another. Clarity refers to presence or absence of internal flaws, called inclusions, which occur naturally within stone, or to external blemishes, such as scratches or chips. A diamond can be described as "flawless" only if it has no visible surface or internal imperfections when viewed under a 10-power magnification by a skilled diamond grader. Make sure you know how a particular scale and grade represent color or clarity of diamond you are considering. Cut refers not only to shape of diamond, but also to size, angle, uniformity and polish of facets (faces of stone). Carat weight may be described in decimal or fractional parts of a carat, as described above.
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