Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Megan askedrepparttar following questions in one of our phone sessions: “Over and over, when I’m really attracted to a man and I sleep with him fairly early inrepparttar 138642 relationship, I discover that he is not good husband material. What am I doing wrong? Am I just attracted torepparttar 138643 wrong kind of men?”

This is a frequent question from my single women clients.

“Megan, many men know how to project sexual energy in a way that arouses women. These men define their worth by their sexuality and by their ability to attract woman. They know just how to sexually ignite a woman - it’s an energy that they are putting out that goes right into your genitals and makes you think that something real and important is happening. But they are operating from a sexual addiction rather than from caring or intimacy.”

“So what should I be doing when I feel that powerful sexual attraction?”

“You need to be telling yourself that this feeling doesn’t mean anything – that it’s just an energy that is being projected onto you but has nothing to do with love, intimacy, caring, or marriage. Real, long-lasting relationships take time to evolve. If you feel sexual upon first meeting someone, there is a good possibility that this man just wants a sexual encounter with you rather than a real relationship with you. My suggestion to you is to not have sex early in a relationship, even if you are very attracted.”

“Well, when do you have sex?”

“When you feel emotionally intimate. When you trust each other and really care about each other’s wellbeing. When you know thatrepparttar 138644 feelings are not just sexual, and thatrepparttar 138645 sexuality is coming fromrepparttar 138646 emotional intimacy rather than from a sexual addiction. Why not wait until there is a commitment torepparttar 138647 relationship and to learning and growing with each other? How often have you slept with a man that you were really attracted to and then hadrepparttar 138648 relationship not work out?”

“More often than I’m willing to admit. This is what keeps happening. So are you saying that I should also go out with men that I’m not immediately attracted to?”

Creating Balance In and Unbalanced World

Written by Lynne Kaska

The Importance of Creating Balance in Your Life

Balance is a topic that is of great concern in my life. How many of you feel that you are being pulled in 50 different directions every day of your life? The kids are fighting, your husband needs your time, you haven’t seen your parents in two weeks and they are requesting to see you,repparttar boss gave you a deadline for a huge project, and you haven’t even thought about doing laundry, or going to church. Don’t worry you aren’t alone. I think that everyone feels at some point that their life is out of balance. Everyone feels that at some point in their life they are like a master juggler.

For me, when looking at creating balance in my life, there are several different areas that I have to look at. I call this exerciserepparttar 138613 Wheel of Life. By doing this exercise, it will help you identify what is important to you, what would improverepparttar 138614 areas that aren’t a 10 on a scale of 1-10 and it will help you come up with intentions to help you design a balanced life.

First, I want you to draw a circle. Then divide it in half, and in half again, keep drawing it in half until you have eight equal pieces ofrepparttar 138615 pie. I want you to label each ofrepparttar 138616 sections as follows: fun/entertainment, home environment, family/friends, health and well being, spiritual, career/education, personal growth, intimate relationships. Now I want you to think about each category for a minute. Inrepparttar 138617 category of fun/entertainment, rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 and write it inrepparttar 138618 circle, 1 beingrepparttar 138619 least fulfilling and 10 beingrepparttar 138620 most. Dorepparttar 138621 same with each category. Once again, I want you to take a few minutes to think about each category. What in each category would make it a 10? Now in each category you have something that you want to create more of in your life. From this, you can create what are called intention statements. I’m going to use my home environment as an example. Having my own apartment that was safe and secure was what was lacking in my home environment. From that I created and intention statement that says, “My intention is to create a safe environment that feeds my soul.” Go ahead, you can do it. I want you to come up with at least one intention statement for each category.

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