Sequnned Suits & Platform Boots

Written by Sharon Jacobsen

Fancy coming up to my bedroom? There isn’t a chair butrepparttar bed’s comfy. You can lie down on it if you like but takerepparttar 118208 pink nylon bedspread off first or my ol’ lady’ll go bananas and knock you for six!

So what do you think then? Do you like my room? I'm a teenager now y'know - you’ll find no daft kittens on my wallpaper, thank you! Oh no, those huge orange and pink flowers are very modern, especially as they’re teamed with a bright pink nylon carpet and orange curtains. But have you noticedrepparttar 118209 ceiling? Every other polystyrene ceiling tile’s painted orange. Is that cool or what?

So now you’re here, what do you fancy doing? Oh, you want to look in my wardrobe? Hmmm… there are a few “embarrassments” in there, but they’ll probably be stuffed atrepparttar 118210 back so you won’t see them and hopefully I’ll have something there to impress you with. How would I live withrepparttar 118211 shame if you thought my clothes weren’t trendy?

It’s quite a nice wardrobe isn’t it? Noticerepparttar 118212 agreeable combination of white and teak formica? And what do you think of those funky looking V-shaped brass look knobs? Yes, I realise that some ofrepparttar 118213 brass colour’s flaking off and you can seerepparttar 118214 plastic underneath, but onrepparttar 118215 whole it’s nice, don’t you think?

I’m just gonna have to move this whopping great velvet donkey out ofrepparttar 118216 way or I won’t getrepparttar 118217 wardrobe door open. My uncle went to Spain y’know, on one of those package tours that are allrepparttar 118218 rage atrepparttar 118219 moment. Went on a plane he did, and brought me back this donkey. It’s stuffed with straw and its plastic eyes come out but we’re not fussed about safety standards and all that so I was dead chuffed with it. There’s a little flamenco lady onrepparttar 118220 dressing table, if you’re interested. Be careful not to mess up her dress though.

Sorry? What did you say? Oh, you’re still waiting to see my gear! I’ll just get some out for you and chuck ‘em onrepparttar 118221 bed. Those striped tank tops are nice aren’t they? The brown, orange and yellow one’s really nice, butrepparttar 118222 purple and pink one’s my favourite. I usually wear it with this pink suede mini skirt. Mind you, lurex is allrepparttar 118223 rage atrepparttar 118224 moment, so I wear these black and silver bell-bottoms quite a bit too, usually with this black satin blouse and my white leather-look Donny Osmond cap. Not that I like Donny Osmond, butrepparttar 118225 cap’s cool. The trousers look a bit long but that’s because they’re made to be worn with platform shoes. Mum says I’ll break my ankle wearing ‘em, but if she thinks I’m gonna wear those awful Clark’s t-bar shoes she bought me, she’s got another think coming. Oh look, my old red bibbed hotpants! I’d almost forgotten I had those. They’ve kind of gone out of fashion a bit now, but I lived and died in them last summer. To be honest, I’m trying to persuade my mum to buy me a mohair tonic skirt. Y’know, that iridescent material that’s allrepparttar 118226 go atrepparttar 118227 moment? My mate’s got a suit, but I know I won’t get that so a skirt’s gonna have to do. I’ll need a Ben Sherman to go with it though.

I’ve got some t-shirts and things in my dressing table drawers, and if you like, you can have a look through my make-up bag. The glitter eye shadow’s pretty cool, especiallyrepparttar 118228 purple one. If you can’t find it onrepparttar 118229 dressing table it’ll be onrepparttar 118230 floor next to my hairdryer. Y’know, one of those with a huge plastic hood that fills up with warm air when you attach it torepparttar 118231 blower. I used to wish my mum would buy me a proper hairdryer though, cos getting your hair to flick under atrepparttar 118232 bottom with one of those isn’t easy y’know, but since I had my hair cut in a DA (duck’s arse - so named because ofrepparttar 118233 layering atrepparttar 118234 back) I don’t really use it much.

Oh, careful! You just knocked my jewellery box down. It’s mostly tat but I likerepparttar 118235 chokers, especiallyrepparttar 118236 royal blue velvet one with a cameo stuck onrepparttar 118237 front. I wearrepparttar 118238 mood ring sometimes too.

Writing Fiction to Get Rich

Written by Michael LaRocca

WRITING FICTION TO GET RICH Copyright 2004, Michael LaRocca

Some of us write simply because we can't not write. Ideas grab us, move us, and demand to be written. We strive to make it as real as we possibly can, to improve at our craft every day, hopefully to make it intorepparttar realm of literature as well as entertainment. We want to craft an entire world whererepparttar 118207 places and people are so real thatrepparttar 118208 reader doesn't feel like he's reading a book as much as he is going to another place. Inrepparttar 118209 lofty world of literature that we strive for,repparttar 118210 reader will still think aboutrepparttar 118211 book after reading that last page. It's our gift torepparttar 118212 reader, something to take with him. Given sufficient skill, this can even happen long after we are dead.

Then we learn that doesn't sell. Oh, there are exceptions. Some novelists make a living by consistently writing quality literature. But, there are quite a few best sellers who have no such goals. They write for money, and they make it.

Evenrepparttar 118213 writer who has written great literature has trouble marketing it that way. We have to look at our "target audience." Who will buy this book? Let me see, our heroine survived spousal abuse, so there's an audience. There's a suicide, so we can getrepparttar 118214 bereavement crowd. Where'srepparttar 118215 setting? We can get a local audience. The hero's a cop. Mayberepparttar 118216 teen boys will go for that. Nah, too light on action. But there's a romance. Maybe we'll market torepparttar 118217 romance readers. Giverepparttar 118218 hero bedroom eyes and pass him off as a romantic hero. Yeah, that might work.

But if you want to write to get rich, even that's not enough. Nah,repparttar 118219 time to think about your reader is before you writerepparttar 118220 book, not after.

Throw in lots of gratuitous sex, preferably extramarital. One (and only one) character who flirts and is sorely tempted and walks away from "love" to remain true to his wife.

Use taboo words for shock value. Ram, hump, scream, oral sex, voluptuous, female orgasm (the great revelation). Make sure a lot of your leads enjoy sex. Horny women are a good way to pull inrepparttar 118221 readers you want. We all know men are horny, but most of your readers haven't discovered that some women enjoy sex too. Tell them this. Giverepparttar 118222 female readers a balm for their consciences andrepparttar 118223 male readers someone to dream about.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
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