I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while they wanted to move forward in life, were actually stuck in a self-destructive addiction. Of course, I cannot directly confront them about their addictions, as they had to open up to me that it was part of
problem that was keeping them in same rut in which they found themselves day-after-day. As we worked together to make plans and open doors, addiction was left open for them to examine and realize that they needed to overcome situation, and cut loose that anchor to move forward to a fulfilling life.I'm not speaking of any particular addiction, as we all have one or two in our lives. However, for sake of discussion, primary addictions that people fall to when they find that their lives are faltering are alcohol and drugs. Of course, these usually come into play once their addictions to depression and negative situations overtake their lives and they feel as though they have no where left to turn. But, as we peel away negative situations and tend to depression through medical assistance, they are better able to accept that now they must eliminate substance addiction.
--- Abstinence or Control ---
Many commercials on television promote "responsible drinking". What exactly is "responsible drinking"? It is a relative view that places you to judge how much is enough. Yet, after your first drink, your judgment is impaired. As I've heard from many people, "one is too much and 12 are not enough." The best way to manage yourself responsibly is simply not to do it at all --- abstain.
--- Disease or Responsibility ---
The idea of addictions being a disease creates an uneasy feeling for me in that, for most part, it is a choice and a responsibility as opposed to an illness. While I do agree that certain physical illnesses can cause people to turn to substance abuse, abuse and addiction in and of itself are resulting actions and not diseases. It does seem that disease concept has become popular because it is nature of addicted people to dignify their conduct. The disease concept conceals actual reason people abuse various substances while it discourages initiative and responsibility.
--- Involuntary Addiction ---
This area of "involuntary addiction" is center of much controversy. Many people are addicted to medications at hands of medical practitioners who do not monitor their patients, but instead simply ensure that their prescriptions maintain a certain response. Of course, many people do require long-term care; however, others only require assistance through medication for a short time.
One example is that of a woman I worked with some years ago who was terribly addicted to Valium, Paxil, and Prozac. She wanted to get off of everything. Of course, I could not counsel her on medical aspects of her situation, but I did refer her to a medical acquaintance who could assist her. In end, after six years of involuntary addiction, it took her two years to get back on her feet and lead a productive life. We did work through some situations to angle her life toward her new Vision, but it was her choice to alleviate herself of medication and "give life a try." In essence, we were able to replace her physical addiction with a mental and emotional addiction --- a direction in life.
--- How did I become addicted? ---
Addiction is a natural function of human body, based entirely upon "pleasure principle" --- tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Addictive substances have ability to disrupt motivational hierarchy of needs by displacing other motives in life. They can also desensitize ability of other, natural rewards to motivate behavior.
The addict usually places substance use as their top priority, while losing interest in life's other rewards. This desire to experience effects of addictive substance combined with lack of interest in natural rewards is classified as a "loss of control." Essentially, normal controls on individual's life have lost their significance and behavior focuses on acquisition and use of addictive substance.
It's interesting to note that we can become addicted to situations as well as substances. For instance, some abused women come to feel a certain way about themselves in abusive situations. To ensure that this feeling remains, they seek out relationships that compound their feelings. Destructive indeed, but one that they feel is necessary.
--- How can I tell if I am addicted? ---
Determining addiction is complex in that it is based on many different signs for different types of addictions. But, one definite, yet simplistic, indicator is that you keep going back even after you know that you don't want to do it again.
Those nights that you lay in bed with a massive hangover even after you swore that you'd never do it again. The morning you wake up and have no idea what you did night before, again. The bruises and black eyes that you have from fight with your mate, yet you return. Again, simplest indicator is that you "keep coming back."
More complex indicators are physical and emotional changes as well as affects on your social presentation and associations. For instance, massive weight change, "need" to have it or do it again, anger, loss of sleep, health problems, avoidance by certain social associations, or even being banned from establishments are important indicators.
