Seinfeld Episode - The Chairs

Written by Alex Reidiboim and Martin Winer

Seinfeld The Chairs


Jerry: Coffee is a miraculous drink. Just think ofrepparttar miraculous chain of events that had to take place to create this beverage. Somewhere, somebody had to figure out to take Coffee beans, burn them in a fire for several hours, grind uprepparttar 118140 remains and then run boiling water through them. Just think of it. Thousands of years ago inrepparttar 118141 Colombian mountains there must have been a massive volcanic eruption which burned million of acres


Written by Theolonius McTavish

Copyright by Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved.

HOLIDAY IN HADES? -- Or, more about life inrepparttar nether world from Our Man in Hades --

Who says things never change in Hades?

To remain competitive with "high-performance" earth-bound products and "excellent" customer service ratings in Paradise,repparttar 118139 underworld Inferno (affectionately known as "the abyss"), has spruced things up a bit to satisfyrepparttar 118140 growing demands of well-heeled travellers.

A review of HOT press releases, (those emanating fromrepparttar 118141 "Hades Office of Tourism"), indicates that major continuous improvement initiatives are now underway.

Big changes are taking place following a comprehensive 360-degree, year-long audit of "Devil-May-Care" brand products and co-branded "Hot-To-Trot" service offerings.

Visitors (from Purgatory) and permanent residents (of Pandemonium) will be pleased to learn thatrepparttar 118142 following improvements are being made to make their stay more worry-free and enjoyable.

-- The Department of Highways has announced that it plans to provide better signage warning prospective visitors that, "The Road to Hades is paved with good intentions but due to budgetary cutbacks, visitors are asked to fill in any potholes they come across with their own brand of excuses".

-- The Ministry of Justice has indicated that it intends to remedyrepparttar 118143 lack of peace, order and good government by appointing a Devil's Advocate Support Counsellor for victims of heavenly hopes and delightful dreams who may have slid betweenrepparttar 118144 many cracks, nooks or crannies commonly found in Hades.

-- The Hades Public Service Commission has announced that it will henceforth abolish inflammatory words like "damnation" from public policy manuals as it has been shown to reducerepparttar 118145 productivity of bureaucrats and mandarins alike.

-- Pandemonium Hotels & Suites, having read their customer-response cards, are now pleased to launch a "bed of nails" weekend spa special designed to attract a new niche market --repparttar 118146 hard-to-please, mud-in-your-eye, pain-in-the-butt clientele.

-- Fire & Brimstone Retailers plan to hold monthly "Red Devil Days" in order to meet an overwhelming demand for "Faustian bargains" on crimson-red flame-retardant satin body suits with matching slippers, three-pronged stainless steel pitch forks, "holy" smoke alarms, fragance-free foam fire extinguishers, not to mention ruby-red plaque-fighting mouthwash.

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