By Catherine FranzHaving our own secret secrets, ones that you never dare tell anyone else, creates emotional stress. When they build, they ruin your health. They can make you angry with people, and even at
whole world in general.
Knowing secrets about other people creates drama and builds excitement. It is also a trillion dollar industry. Just look at tabloids.
Four elements create formula that builds into a guarded and destructive secret:
Guilt + Fear + Judgment + Person = Secret
Secrets need to be let go and there are three ways to do just that:
1. Talk with a therapist.
2. Talk to person that secret is connected too. Maybe you need to apologize or ask for forgiveness. Maybe you feel they need to. You will usually find that they were feeling same thing. Use an intermediary, like a coach, or a therapist, or someone trained to stay neutral and guide discussion if needed.
If person is deceased, then talk with someone you trust implicitly like a coach or therapist. Let them provide feedback on what they are hearing in-between lines and give some course of action suggestions.
3. If it was something they did to you, find out more about that person, what was their life like, who were they, what pressures did they have in their life, what were their goals.
Most journalers will only write entries up to a certain boundary, then stop. They will not go into their deep down right embarrassing secrets. Yet, these very same secrets stop us from being stars of our own life.
Secrets make you sick, they place barriers in between you and your goals. Even in your relationships when they actually have nothing to do with that person.
Holding onto other people’s secrets is dangerous. Someone at work tells you something in secret. Now you walk around with THEIR weight on your shoulders. What a burden you are carrying.
Built over time, with this person sharing and next sharing, you either can't hold them in any longer or forgot whose what to whom and they just slip out. Of course, losing their trust in process, and usually their fake friendship. When these build over time, it affects sleeping habits, eating habits, and even thinking clearly. Many people don't even know this is what is occurring. They blame it on weather, working too hard, someone else, and worse yet, themselves.
