Saying No To Our ChildrenWritten by Russell Turner
Saying no to our children is not always easy or pleasant. Sometimes it is very hard work and we don’t want to face struggle. Most of us at some time will find ourselves saying yes when we know we should have said no. Some people almost never say no. The funny thing is though, more I am prepared to say no, and mean it, and enforce it, less I have to say it. Children get message. We have to say no to our diabetic children often enough, for health reasons, that you would think we would be better at it for other things. I know sometimes I feel a little guilty saying no to something after a series of diabetes related no’s. But I still have to say no anyway. Parents who have to say no for most of day will probably admit that they are not enforcing it. They give in too soon. When you do this you are sending mixed messages to your children about what they are and are not allowed to do. There are many reasons why we find it difficult to say no. However, there are some common patterns that we all display at some time or another. These are some common reasons, I know I need to raise my own hand at a couple of these. We want to protect or child from “pain” or discomfort of disappointment. We want to protect ourselves from facing his feelings of anger or disappointment. We want to avoid responsibilities of making a decision about an issue. * We want to keep peace and fear row, or other consequences that may follow. We need our child’s approval, want to be his friend, and fear his rejection. We want to keep times we are with our child free from conflict. We can get necessary strength, confidence and authority to say no when it matters by understanding these reasons more fully. Protecting Your Child from Pain of Disappointment. Of course it hurts to see our children suffer, but mild discomfort and disappointment are a part of life. Our children will be better equipped to cope with realities of life if they experience and learn to manage disappointment. This doesn’t mean we should go out of our way to expose them to pain. It does mean that being cause of their disappointment is not something we should feel guilty about. Being used to accepting no, and realizing that they can survive disappointment, makes them stronger in face of adversity and gives them a better idea of which “wants” are really important to them. Going without once in a while helps to develop a sense of priorities and character. Protecting Ourselves from our Child’s Feelings of Anger or Disappointment. We sometimes avoid saying no to protect ourselves from having to respond to our children’s negative reaction. As parents, we are used to “making them feel better”; but how can we do this without giving in? We can’t. We also can’t avoid their negative reaction. We have to ”stand in” and tough it out. Sometimes saying nothing is best for situation
| | How To Teach Your Baby Sign LanguageWritten by Nicole Dean
The word is spreading. Sign language is a great way to communicate with pre-verbal babies and toddler. New moms everywhere are grabbing American Sign Language books and absorbing them feverishly. Pregnancy classes are full of moms teaching each other basic sign language and day care centers across country are training their teachers in sign language.Why would you do such a thing? Some of benefits of signing are: Less frustration for baby - Imagine how it feels to grunt and point and not be able to ask for what you want. Put yourself in your baby's shoes. You're a baby. You've been playing and squealing and laughing and now your mouth is dry and you're really thirsty for milk. You grunt and point and whine for milk -- and your mother misunderstands and gives you a dry cracker instead, thinking you're hungry for a snack. You feel very frustrated and possibly angry. You might even throw cracker back at your mother or hit her out of frustration. What if, instead, you could simply sign milk and get milk? Pure bliss! Bonding with Parents - Babies who sign are able to interact and be acknowledged at a younger age. Picture you and your baby looking at a book about elephants. She can show you that she understands story by signing "elephant" to you well before she could say three syllable word "elephant". You know that your baby understands and is benefiting from story and you can respond "yes, it is a big elephant", thereby rewarding her for her efforts. Sibling bonding - Older siblings are given tools to bond with their new brother or sister sooner, because baby can sign, well before speech is possible. Not only is there a bond, but I've witnessed a sense of camaraderie because older sibling can act as an interpreter for baby in situations with non-signing adults.
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