There’s a little ritual that we all go through this time of year. It begins with
arrival of a fancy envelope in mail, one that typically has gold bordering or fancy engraving on it. We all look at said envelope, silently groan to ourselves, and then take it on into house, hoping as we walk inside that a big gust of wind will blow up and take envelope out of our hands and send it over to China. That never happens, of course, so we reluctantly take envelope inside, sit down, open it, and then read something like following:“The Fogerty County High School Class of 2005 Cordially Invites You To Our Graduation Exercises on Saturday, June 36, 2005, at 4 pm at Acid Reflux Stadium.”
Once read, a little business sized card drops into your hand that has a name on it like following:
Roscoe Boffmeister
You sit there for a moment, scratch your head, and wonder just who in devil Roscoe Boffmeister is? So you politely ask your spouse that question, and she replies,
“Remember Mary and Biff Boffmeister, couple that lived next to us when we lived in our first house over on Sniply Drive? Back in late eighties? Remember their cute little baby, Roscoe?”
Forgetting myself for a second, I answer honestly, “Of course, I remember little Roscoe. He cried like a tail mashed cat, drooled constantly, and was in bathroom so much that I thought he maintained a citizenship there. To tell you truth, I barely remember even that, didn’t they move away only a couple of months after we moved in because Biff got fired for indecent exposure at work?”
“Well, of course they did, but you do remember both Biff and Mary, and I really loved Mary. She was such a sweet person, she’d help you anyway she could.”
Again, I take honest path, “From what I remember, Mary was okay, but all Biff ever talked about was wife swapping and he thought that burping was an art form. Sides, how can you love someone that you only knew for two months?”
A serious stare lets me know that this really was not a good question. The answer I received confirmed it, “It’s quality, Edward, not quantity. There are relatives of yours I’ve known for years that I don’t particularly like, but Mary was special.”
