Let The Kissing Begin By David Leonhardt
Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is greatest sport ever?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is greatest sport ever. Allow me to recount just a few of reasons.
Kissing is a very versatile sport. There are so many kisses Ė at least one for each occasion. There is peck on cheek kiss, peck on each cheek kiss, peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing other cheek flab with your hand, madly passionate kiss, kiss on hand, kiss of death, "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even town of Kissimmee (founded by early Italian pioneer kissers) in Florida.
Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at gym, in boardroom, in space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.
Kissing requires very little equipment, meaning you can do it even when unprepared, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and hang gliders
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: next time you are in a booooring meeting that seems to last foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you avoid mouth area.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps best news of all, because now dieters have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")