Most of us do not want to take responsibility for our decisions or deeds. So, what do we do? We consult others and ask, "What do you think I should do?" Then we can blame other person for our decision. This is one way of manipulating others to take responsibility for our actions.

Wayne Dyer in his book, Erroneous Zones, gives a few good examples how a patient tries to influence his psychiatrist to advise him to do this or that so that he could mentally put blame on his psychiatrist for his failures. When you take responsibility, you have to give up your favourite villains like elders, parents and friends who impose their suggestions on you, people who impose their ideas on you and people who put you down by saying "Oh no, you can't do it. You are not educated enough. You do not have enough money. You do not have enough experience. You are too old, etc." We have to take responsibility for our own actions and even for what happens to us, even if it is a rear end collision. If we are fat, depressed, inadequate, it is our fatness, depression and inadequacy and not anyone else's. The possession is ours. Only we can get rid of them. They are inside us. Should we not take responsibility for blinders we are wearing, our tensions, our perceptions, our beliefs and our prejudices? What others have done to us is minor compared to what we have done to ourselves. If we want to grow, we have to take responsibility for what we are doing. Intellectualizing can impair our emotional functioning. When we get angry, we blame others for our anger. That makes us feel better. Then we don't have to admit that these bad feelings and thoughts are part of ourselves. I am good. It is you who are bad. Think of a person you hate most in world. Conjure him up. Feel how disgusted you are in his presence and how you want to get away from him. Get all your feelings about him out. Do you hate him because he is a double dealer, dishonest, dirty, crooked, a cheat, mean, cruel, disloyal, always angry, gossips about you, cheap, drinks too much, and lazy. Think about a person who knows more about you than anyone else. If there is no such person, invent one. This person knows all embarrassing things you have done. He has goods on you, real dope and all your secrets. What are worst things he can say about you? Think about it and write it down.

So far, best definition I have come across is: "Success is completion of anything intended".In other words success is finishing what you planned to do.

This shines a light on failure and success.Make a plan and follow it and you will have succeeded. Make a plan and do not follow it and you will have failed.

This gives a yard stick for judging every day of our lives. We can say at end of day "I have failed" or "I have succeeded."

This may seem very obvious but it is amazing that only about 85% of human race end up doing what they intended.

I asked several people what they thought success was. One person said that "Success is making loads of money." Another said that success is "Achieving your goals". Some one else said that success is "Fulfilling your potential". An interesting answer was that success is "Making others jealous".

Brian Tracy agrees with connection between success and goals. He has said "Success is goals, and all else is commentary." Tracy believes that people with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them.

Stuart Goldsmith in "The Midas Method" has an important section on how to set goals so that they are achieved using full power of subconscious mind.

Maria Nemeth gives this definition of success: "Doing what you said you would do, with ease".

"Doing what you said you would do" is currently not achieved by majority of human race especially politicians! Doing it with ease is achieved by even fewer and requires making most of subconscious mind.

Jim Rohn argues that success is just a few simple disciplines practised daily.

The power of daily discipline is HUGE. Because discipline is practised daily effect is cumulative. The good practice is carried out 365 times a year with, perhaps, a few lapses.

It cannot fail to have tremendous influence. Once discipline becomes a daily habit, it can be forgotten about until rewards start coming in.

The writer who writes every day has written well over 300 pages by end of year. If he or she does not write every day they lose momentum and inspiration. If they keep up writing (even just a few words a day) a magnet for relevant thoughts develops.

Recently a Liverpool student of American media studies applied for 600 jobs and received only one interview which he failed. He decided to write a novel. He determined to complete ten pages a day. He worked in evenings at a dead end job to make money and then wrote until about 5 in morning at his novel which has now become famous. It also looks like becoming a Hollywood blockbuster film.

He points out that if you write only one page a day for 100 days you can write a screen play. He wrote his novel by studying structure of two other novels and noticing how they were structured and wrote his screenplay after studying video of films and noticing how long each scene lasted before there was a change.

I can't remember his name or name of his book as I just happened to hear part of his interview on television.

The practice of daily disciplines alone can change our lives totally. Another benefit of daily disciplines is that they quickly create habits and habits create character.

A great quote by Jim Ryun, American Athlete, is as follows

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going"

Another brilliant quote is:

"Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value." Albert Einstein

The next quote says more or less same thing:

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." Henry David Thoreau

Many would argue that success is not about making money but about developing oneself into a person who is valuable to others.

However, this quite often will lead to making money because people will pay for value. Any one who is very good at their job can usually command whatever pay they wish.

Adam Hollioake is one of most successful English county cricket captains. He realised what is important in life when his brother Ben was killed in a car accident in Perth Australia. Adam learned that he should be kind to people and have fun and "that’s what life is about."

His view of success in cricket is not necessarily winning. He is not afraid to lose a cricket match. He is only concerned that his team put 100% effort into game. He comments:

"If we do put that effort in we usually win anyway".

Success then is putting in 100% effort whatever results. More often than not, however, results will be excellent.

Michael Angier has a great definition of success.

"Success is result of steadily taking action on our most important goals. When we consistently focus our energies and our efforts upon what matters most, we can't help but be successful".

Angier also admires Ralph Waldo Emerson's comments on success:

"To laugh often and much; to win respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn appreciation of honest critics and endure betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find best in others; to leave world a bit better, whether by healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded."

What are causes of failure and success?

William James, great American psychologist, puts failure down to lack of faith in one self

"There is but one cause of human failure. And that is man's lack of faith in his true self."

Faith in one self is a huge part of success. Stuart Goldsmith in "The Midas Method" talks about two kinds of belief that are necessary for success. You must believe that you deserve to succeed and you must believe that you have ability to succeed.

Another big cause of success is discipline.

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in long term is indispensable prerequisite for success." Brian Tracy

Another cause is willingness to try to succeed even if possiblity of success is remote.

"Far away in sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead."

Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) American Writer

My computer guru, Danny believes that you should hold on to your dream in all circumstances and never let go. Grab hold of your vision with an iron fist and even if you are down on your luck and in gutter never give up.