In coaching and training entrepreneurs and executives, I’ve noticed that how you react to what’s done to you is as important as what you do. We can make detailed strategic plans, begin daily activities to move us forward, put structures in place that support us in creating what we want—but world will always throw us unexpected changes and unanticipated events. Betty Talmadge, an American meat broker and cookbook author, is one who first said, "Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans." We cannot control anything or anyone else, and we create a lot of disappointment and frustration (as well as waste a lot of our life energy) when we try.

Life happens. You might be passed over for a promotion, or you might be laid off. The bid you’ve worked on for three weeks might go to another firm; your great assistant could move to Tahiti. Your computer and its contents could be consumed by a virus; your building could be flooded or your car stolen. At some point in everyone’s life, setback occurs.

How you respond to what happens is what will make greatest difference for you, both personally and professionally. Your resilience is what gives you ability to get back up after you have been knocked down—even after second and third rounds of having your plans pummeled.

If you think your bounce-back ability can use a strength-training program, follow these principles to soar through setbacks and keep your resilience revved up.

Use Your Power of Choice Begin to look at how resilient you are in everyday occurrences. Do you let traffic, a rude comment, a delayed plane, a spilled cup of coffee, or a disappointing phone call ruin your whole day, or do you consciously choose to bounce right back? We do not always have a choice in what happens to us—but we always have a choice about how we react to it.

Last month, a woman played in a Men’s Pro Golf Tournament. For those of you who don’t follow golfing world outside of Tiger Woods, this was not only controversial, it drew new attention to differences between men and women in sport, and why a woman would find it even remotely appropriate to play in a man’s tournament. What effect would this have on a traditionally male dominated sport and what’s wrong with playing in your own sandbox?

A quick education on Women’s Golf: Annika Sorenstam is ‘Tiger Woods’ of Women’s Golf. She is young, talented, and wins just about every tournament she plays. So why would she pursue something so unorthodox? Is it Ego, money, attention, or desire to push beyond traditional limits?

I bring this novel feat to your attention because it is not about men vs. women, or can/should a woman play in a men’s tournament. It is all about leadership and value learned from her experience. As a coach, question of day is:

• What is impact for Annika by playing at Colonial Golf Tournament and how will this transform her course? Here’s how it plays out for me.

The Top of Mountain…. Imagine truly being at top of your game, regularly being ‘in zone’, and you have nothing but blue sky in front of you. You then stop to contemplate and ask what more can I learn, where can I grow, is their more to my game, and what would happen if I were able stretch just that little bit more? Am I really at top of my “own mountain”?

Admiration… How many of us are willing to risk everything we’ve known--- in Annika’s case her status as top woman golfer in world, confidence, role or position she has earned in golfing community, and her sense of self. She knowingly subjected herself to intense media scrutiny that questioned her motives, and was target of other golfers who didn’t appreciate her presence. Can you imagine what she must have been feeling as she teed off that first day?

Choices…. My assessment of her choice to play at Colonial is that she could have have continued as dominating woman’s on LPGA Tour. Instead she chose to ask ‘am I capable of more? By expanding her universe, exposing her game for what it is and what it is not requires courage, moxy, and ambition. She took off safety belt and dove in.