Relieving Christmas Anxiety for Children

Written by Sarah Delaporte


For a child, Christmas isrepparttar most exciting holiday of all. They look forward torepparttar 111320 Christmas tree, lights, presents, stockings, make-believe Santa Claus, wishlists, snowmen & many more aspects. It is easy for adults to forget how excited children become whenrepparttar 111321 arrival of Christmas draws near. Of courserepparttar 111322 children only seem to think aboutrepparttar 111323 presents, but it is actually more than that. What child doesn't enjoy visiting a store just to watch a toy train go around and aroundrepparttar 111324 fake Christmas tree? What aboutrepparttar 111325 snow andrepparttar 111326 snowmen they build? Orrepparttar 111327 lights that blink or sing songs? Maybe it isrepparttar 111328 cookies grandma makes? Or Aunt Lily's beef roast? Orrepparttar 111329 warm pajamas they are in when they run down to check what it is their stockings? Or is itrepparttar 111330 enchanting story aboutrepparttar 111331 newborn long ago who was actuallyrepparttar 111332 Son of God? Whateverrepparttar 111333 case may be, Christmas isrepparttar 111334 most exciting holiday for most youngsters. It is a combination of magic (lights, snowmen, snowflakes, etc), family, good food, presents & stories. Everyone remembers how importantrepparttar 111335 holiday was to them once, but somehow we have forgotten how wonderful it really is. Rather than worrying about what present we are going to buy Aunt Martha, we should be enjoyingrepparttar 111336 holiday. Why not take Johnny & go sledding today?

This is why it is crucial that we get all of our holiday shopping done early. I usually start my shopping in September, and I like to have most presents bought byrepparttar 111337 1st of December. This way, I can relax duringrepparttar 111338 wonderful holiday. Why not create memories instead of sharing your stress? If you enjoyrepparttar 111339 holiday, your child will enjoy it ten times more.

Create a plan which will acomplish two tasks. The first "task" your plan will accomplish is to help your child wait for Christmas. The second and most important goal is that it will help you remember whyrepparttar 111340 holiday is so special. Remember that fun time with your child doesn't have to cost money. Create a plan to do one special thing every day forrepparttar 111341 24 days before Christmas (starting December 25th). Your plan may look likerepparttar 111342 following:

1. Make homemade Christmas cards with your child and mail them to grandparents. Maybe incluce a photo of your child.

2. Make a Christmas wishlist with your child and mail it torepparttar 111343 relatives.

3. Build a Snowman with your child or have a snow fight.

4. Make homemade Christmas ornaments.

Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 111319 end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 784 Category: Relationships

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR, LOVING BEHAVIOR By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were onrepparttar 111320 verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to endrepparttar 111321 marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believed that their misery was because ofrepparttar 111322 other person, and both could clearly articulate whatrepparttar 111323 other person was doing wrong.

"Tiffany is just so distant and unaffectionate most ofrepparttar 111324 time, and when we are together she is so critical of me. I can’t seem to do anything right in her eyes. I try really hard to please her, but no matter what I do, it’s not good enough."

"I just can’t seem to connect with Zack. He’s a really nice guy but I just can’t feel anything with him. I feel irritated with him a lot and I don’t really know why. He just annoys me. I feel like he’s always wanting something from me and I just don’t like being around him. And he’s so darn nice! What’s wrong with me that I don’t like someone being so nice?"

I could see immediately thatrepparttar 111325 underlying problem in this relationship was that both Zack and Tiffany were stuck in various forms of controlling behavior, yet neither of them were consciously trying to control.

Zack was a caretaker. He tried to control by being a "nice guy" and doing everything he thought Tiffany wanted, including making dinner every night, doingrepparttar 111326 laundry, and doing most ofrepparttar 111327 child-care, even though both of them worked. He secretly believed that if he was nice enough, he could have control over Tiffany loving him and being turned on to him. What he didn’t realize is that his niceness was really a "pull" on Tiffany, which is one reason she kept her distance. Underneath, Zack had a big fear of rejection and was trying to have control over Tiffany not rejecting him.

Tiffany was trying to control Zack primarily with her criticism. She was critical any time she felt Zack wanting something from her to make him feel safe and loved. She had a secret hope that if she criticized him enough, he would stop pulling on her for affection, sex and attention. Unconsciously, Tiffany had a huge fear of enfulfment, and was trying to protect herself from being engulfed and controlled by Zack. In addition, Tiffany could not experience who Zack was because he was putting himself aside to please her. She could not connect with him until he was authentically himself.

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