Recycle THIS!

Written by Robert Levin

Recycle THIS by Robert Levin

Earlier today I received a notice advising me thatrepparttar recycling program in my neighborhood has been “rebooted” and that I will henceforth risk “serious fines” if I fail to sort and, inrepparttar 118247 case of jars and bottles, RINSE my garbage before leaving it out.

I hate to come off as a bad sport, but I’ve got to tell you: In all these years I’ve never once sorted or rinsed my garbage and there’s no way I’m going to start now. I mean, what exactly IS this shit? I don’t even sort and rinserepparttar 118248 stuff I keep!

Let me try to explain something here. I would never have had a problem withrepparttar 118249 chore we’ve been assigned if a vital need to conserve essential natural resources wasrepparttar 118250 given it’s assumed to be and ifrepparttar 118251 claim that recycling saves significant quantities of natural resources was true. Butrepparttar 118252 importance and value of recycling is dubious at best. Summarily ignored, a number of reports (including one in The New York Times) revealed early on that, in fact, we’re not running out ofrepparttar 118253 substances recycling is intended to save. What’s more—and this applies to nonbiodegradable materials that end up as landfill as well as to organic elements—evenrepparttar 118254 industry’s own published (and doubtless exaggerated) figures make it clear that whatrepparttar 118255 recycling process manages to salvage is of no real consequence. So while I’ll allow that self-immolation would constitute a disproportionate form of protest, I have to say that reacting with less than indignation to so gratuitous an imposition would also be inappropriate. (Particularly when you consider that nowhere inrepparttar 118256 notice was there mention of a tax rebate for performing what, if it’s to be performed at all, should properly have been a function ofrepparttar 118257 Department of Sanitation fromrepparttar 118258 beginning.)

It’s obviously not as dramatic, but this recycling business had always reminded me ofrepparttar 118259 so-called “oil crisis” ofrepparttar 118260 late seventies. Remember that? Remember how we were told flat out that after decades of witless gorging on a finite resource we’d all but depletedrepparttar 118261 world of fossil fuels? Remember how, to be sure that we gotrepparttar 118262 message, we were made to endure frantic weeks of gasoline rationing and reduced thermostat levels?

(I know that my senator then, Senator D’Amato will want to cut in here to tell me this was before “Jurassic Park” came out and that atrepparttar 118263 time we didn’t realize we could make more.

Yessir. That’s an...interesting...point. But, and with all due respect, SIT THE FUCK DOWN!—it’s besiderepparttar 118264 point I was making. Okay?)

The point I was making is thatrepparttar 118265 whole thing was a setup to get us to accept inflated petroleum prices. There was, it turned out, enough oil left under justrepparttar 118266 backyards of Kuwait’s Emir and Mobil’s CEO to run our quadrant ofrepparttar 118267 galaxy AND keep Pat Riley splendidly coifed for another century or two.

Vincent Price's Ultimate Horror!

Written by Stephen Schochet

Vincent Price was always of two minds about his horror movie career. Onrepparttar one hand it was a way for an actor to age and keep working. Butrepparttar 118246 gourmet cook and art collector often felt that these films were beneath him.

Always looking for extra publicityrepparttar 118247 Saint Louis born thespian pulled many stunts to get attention for his films. One time he went torepparttar 118248 Hollywood Wax museum and disguised himself as his wax dummy likeness. Standing motionless with a hypodermic syringe he would wait patiently for unsuspecting people to watch by, and startle them by reaching out and squirting them with water.

Vincent 's ultimate horror involvedrepparttar 118249 world's most famous pop star. He was thrilled to be hired by Michael Jackson to recordrepparttar 118250 narration forrepparttar 118251 song Thriller. He agreed to do it for a small fee. But when Thriller becamerepparttar 118252 greatest hit of all time he wanted more money. Michael Jackson refused to compensate him and Price was furious.

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