Recreating YourselfWritten by Skye Thomas
So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you're standing at a fork in road and where you'd like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you're just really bored with your life as you've been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as people making decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can't help us with.Your wife thinks you drink too much and should quit. Your parents think you screw off too much and need to pull better grades. Your boss thinks you're a slacker and you need to be more professional. If people in your life are hammering you to change, then it may be time to take a long hard look in mirror. To some extent you have to be open to idea that they may be right. However, they aren't you. They can't walk in your shoes. Nobody can completely totally understand another person. Only you really know what is right for you. Only you can pick your path in life, who you choose to walk with along way, and what kind of person you are while traveling. Some people are misunderstood visionary geniuses. Others are simply rebellious and lazy. Most of us fall somewhere in between. You cannot let others dictate who or what you are to become. The choice to recreate yourself must come from within. Now if you've looked deep within and you've decided that you want to change because you would be happier, then it's time to start. My personal moment came when I realized that I was only twenty-five and was never ever going to fall in love again and was going to be shattered and heartbroken for another fifty years or so before I'd finally get to roll over and die. A very morbid thought I know, but that's exactly my point. At some point you do math asking yourself, "If I stay just like this - on this path - with this mindset - with this income level - with these people surrounding me - with this lifestyle - How will my life look in five years? In ten? In fifty?" It can be an incredibly sobering and depressing answer. Mine was, so I made a decision to change who I was so that next fifty years would at least be different with a chance of happiness. I think we can safely assume that if you're reading this, then you aren't one of those people who is happily moving through life on a path they love, with people they love, and an attitude that is a joy to behold. If that is you, thank you! Please continue to role model it for everyone else and whenever possible cheer someone on as they make changes to do same. As for rest of us who've hit that point where after analysis we've decided to make a fresh start as someone else other than who we are, where do we start?
| | The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self ConsciousnessWritten by Peter Murphy
One of biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people.If I give you tips for listening more effectively and you rush off to practice tips you may not get very far no matter how hard you try. Why? Because you are likely to be self conscious when you need to be other conscious. Standing in front of new people you want to meet you freeze and you feel so unsure of yourself that you cannot remember even one of listening tips. You need ability to switch off self consciousness whenever you choose to do so. Sounds obvious only how can you do this? By switching your attention off of yourself and onto other person. When you are feeling self conscious you will tend to pay too much attention to thoughts inside your head, how you are feeling and how you look. Ironically, to develop great rapport you need to pay close attention to other person. How is she feeling? How does she look today? Is she relaxed or tense? The Three Elements To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness 1 Turn off inner dialogue that makes you feel self conscious One way to do this is to touch roof of your mouth with your tongue when you are not talking. We tend to move our tongues when we engage in inner talk even if only very slightly. When you put tip of your tongue to roof of your mouth you interrupt negative inner talk pattern. Sounds simple. It is! I could write more and more about this tip but it would not help you as much as just using it. I will leave it to you to test it for yourself.
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