Recognizing Unhealthy RelationshipsWritten by Heather J. Tait
One of keys to obtaining a better life or living arrangement is to assess quality of relationships that you surround yourself with. Do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships? For someone that has a pattern or history with unhealthy relationships, difference between two may be difficult to decipher. Healthy relationships are relationships that add to our well being, not subtract. They bring out best of us by being supportive of our goals and our inner selves. Unhealthy relationships often cause us stress and subtract from our well being, often leaving us feeling depleted of energy. Common symptoms of unhealthy relationships include sickness, stress, and a negative outlook of ourselves and our world around us. People who are accustomed to unhealthy relationships often stay cornered in situations like this because they do not recognize that there is another way of living. They might continue unhealthy relationship indefinitely and never seek a better way of life for themselves or they may leave unhealthy relationship, but not pattern. The life pattern is essentially root of problem. The pattern may have stemmed from family upbringing or any other form of influential relationship. The key is to recognize behavior and identify where it is coming from. A creative way to assess your patterns is to write it down. Take out a notebook that you know you will keep for years to come. Write down all major relationships that you have had in your life. Your earliest form of relationship more than likely was a family member or someone acting in this form. Note how they showed you love. Then note how you reciprocated that love. Continue in a chronological order with any additional relationships you have had, i.e. friends, personal and love relationships. Next make a column on your right hand side. Re-read your assessments in order, as you read through them determine whether they were healthy or unhealthy and mark it down in your right hand column. Having an overview of your relationships right before your eyes makes it easier to ‘look’ at. You may actually bring issues to attention that you were not aware of before. For some this may even be a rather emotional exercise, but be reminded it is an exercise encouraging growth and healthy behavior.
| | Overcoming DiscouragementWritten by Heather J. Tait
We have all had times in our lives where someone discouraged our beliefs or even passions in life. Maybe someone told you that you couldn’t do something because of whom you are or where you come from. Maybe they told you that you weren’t “good” enough or that you will never amount to anything. Those comments however small they may seem could actually become loud voices in your head eating away at your self esteem. For someone unsure of themselves, these statements may actually be more powerful than one may realize. The key here is to not give up on what you believe to be true for yourself. Giving up on yourself only let’s their voices rule your own. Only you know what you are really good at or enjoy doing with your life. It helps to have people support you and believe in you, but if you don’t have that, you can still go on and accomplish your goals. Know that you will meet people along way that will share your goals and even offer you support. But don’t wait for support to be there before you pursue your venture. Let belief begin with you. Our life challenge is to secure a balance within ourselves and our surroundings. We are faced with so many interferences on a daily basis that challenge our beliefs and our characters. Maybe you have friends swaying you to stay in a certain place or job. There could be family members discouraging your career aspirations. Despite their influence only person you have to worry about focusing on pleasing is you. Remember you are ultimately one who has to live with consequences not them. Distinguish what your wants and needs are from theirs’. Listen to your intuition as it is a voice all on its own.
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