Recipe for a Healthy RelationshipWritten by Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com
First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if other person feels same of course (both sides count).
Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought two of you together in first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make time and effort.
Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while…depending on how long you have to wait!
Patience is one of main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave relationship).
Honesty is also at top of everyone’s list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for other. This is unhealthy for relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to other.
Prescription for a Broken HeartWritten by Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com
Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves. You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find happiness you deserve to have.
Accepting fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern.
Fight thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing things you enjoyed most about it and then things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused breakup. Look at relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship.
Learning to forgive yourself and your ex-lover will speed up healing process for reason that you will feel more peaceful and calm about it. Hating your ex will only build up tension and stress in your life, causing your emotions to slow down from getting back to order. One way to avoid bitterness against your ex-partner is to look at breakup as a favor. Appreciate their honesty of no longer wanting to pursue relationship, instead of giving you high hopes for a possible future together. It is always an advantage to exit a relationship that had no chances to survive than to be misled.