I, like most men, had grown up in an era, much like those of decades before, that collectively believed that women who reported rape were:

1) Never really raped at all. Instead they were mad at their boyfriend or "some-guy" for whatever reason and were using this as a weapon to "get him in trouble." Or, worse yet,

2) "Asking for it," because of they way they dressed, talked, or presented themselves.

As for first belief, I believe that this may happen occasionally. However, one would have to be living in a cultural vaccuum to believe that this is reason that a six year old tells someone that she was "touched and now it hurts," or nun found battered and bruised who reports that she was sexually assaulted by a seventeen year old. And second belief? Can you imagine burglar sitting in court and saying, "Your honor, honestly, I mean way that TV was placed in that display window, all sleak and shiny and with such a fine picture tube and all - I mean, c'mon your honor, it was just asking to be stolen." Can you?

One of 'things' that put me on road that I eventually followed in becoming a police officer, bodyguard and self protection teacher, is my own inherent 'distrust' and rebellion against what we'll call conventional wisdom. I can't tell you how painful it has been for me to listen to law enforcement officials, lawyers, judges and even so-called self-defense experts expressing either or both of these same beliefs. Especially in light of all of evidence that's available.

Anyway, one day, several years ago, minding my own business, I find myself in a McDonald's restaurant. While enjoying lunch with my wife and two children, I pick up on what sounded like an evangelical presentation at some table across from where we were sitting. This, coupled with obvious discomfort displayed by faces and bodies of man and woman that were recipients of message, caused me to give conversation more than casual attention. At time, I was a federal police officer with about six years of street experience under my belt, so disturbances like these were something that I naturally and instinctly tuned in on.

What I found when I looked was a small woman, roughly in her late twenties but no more than thirty, talking to a couple at next table. The look on woman's face was no less than passionate and her tone was very direct - almost panicked. But, not for herself, for man's female companion. What I heard next, forever changed way that I would talk about subjects of rape and women's self-defense.

You see, this woman, we'll call her Susan, had been victim of rape. By time I met her, Susan had recovered significantly from what would be described today as post traumatic stress disorder - traumatic mental and emotional aftermath of what began as a physical attack on her body. Unlike most victims of rape though, Susan had taken it upon herself to tell every woman - and man or men connected to her - her story, lessons she had learned, most of all, to learn how to protect herself! In fact Susan was on a crusade. She gave talks to schools, groups, and yes, even impromptu presentations like one I was witnessing, in a McDonald's restaurant. And, she was very good at it. Because for Susan, it was personal.

I think that part of reason for discomfort in Susan's listeners was that Susan was talking about a subject that is taboo, and especially with strangers. I mean, really, rape? That's sex, right? Yeah, sure, it's a crime, but it's a "sex" crime - "sex" - you don't talk about that, right? But Susan did, and she was passionate about it.

Susan was passionate about it because this one incident, this one type of assault that's routinely trivialized and ignored in our homes, in our schools, and, yes, in our courts, had shattered almost every belief that she had about crime, who it happens to and her own ability to cope with it.

But what if it isn’t so hard! What if deep down we already know where to find it – because it’s a part of us?

What if there is a way to go about this that makes sense, one that you can do?

In fact, “finding your passion” means connecting with what is deepest inside. It begins with finding yourself. It’s part of what I like to call The Marigold Theory. The idea is simple: When you drop a marigold seed into soil, it is genetically coded to grow into a marigold. If you try to somehow coax it into becoming a Hollyhock, it will disappoint you and itself, and it may even die.

Likewise, we are each born with a unique set of potentials. How sad if Poppies among us spend their lives trying to be Zinnias! Our task is to get back to that original seed and to create an environment where its potential can be realized, an environment where it can bloom.

Each of us has little sparks of energy that appear here and there throughout day. Something that happens, an idea, or a thought kindles a reaction in us. We have a burst of energy around it. That energy comes directly from our core and inspires us into action. And – you guessed it! –- action inspired from within is passion. Pay attention and follow that energy!

The opportunities are all around us. Sometimes they’re hiding in plain sight! Your passion is in that special charge that you feel when you’re doing something that you really love. It’s there in way that there are some things that you always have energy for no matter how exhausted you are. It’s that natural high that you just sometimes get.