RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE THREE R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, Rapture

In today's world there are so many wonderful and inspirational books. There are books filled with stories of Divine intervention, miracles happening, special positive moments never to be forgotten and stories of incredible coincidences. They help make us feel in harmony with universe. They help us fall asleep and have pleasant dreams. They often bring tears to our eyes, reinforcing an inner sense of wisdom that all is right with world even when appearances say that is not so. But there is one thing often missing from these books. It is mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy. The inspiration is there but it's perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment. Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work. Certainly we yearn for moments when right thing happens at exactly right time and world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting right life partner or winning lottery. And we all need at least some of those moments. But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary. They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc. It is all these times that THE ENCHANTED SELF focuses on. These are moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy. What is difference? The difference is usually perspiration. I mean mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call three R's of enchantment. Let's look at first of three R's. The first is REMEMBERING THE BEST AND LETTING GO OF THE REST. This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis. Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt. We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people. Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten. If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release positive energies we need to make most of present moment and to plan for future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in way of what can be done with present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating. Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us. Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to world. For example, child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on other side. How do we take all moments of life that are often repetitive and ordinary, and turn them into captivating personal times? One way is through optimizing our own sense of well being. This internal state is particularly reactive to our emotional and physical states of health. For instance, I remember occasions when good things were about to happen, but I was so overtired or anxious that I could not appreciate a special day. I also remember occasions when nothing happened, but because I felt well rested and truly at peace with myself I enjoyed every moment. How do we work on restoring ourselves? How do we gather our positive energies to be in our own best interest? Certainly one of most critical factors is seeing yourself in a positive light. If I don't truly value myself, I am certainly not going to take good care of myself. I am more responsive to criticism from a negative spouse or parent than my own inner feelings of self worth. I may not take good care of myself and results can be devastating. Over years I have seen so many clients who were not thriving because they had internalized negative comments, criticism and opinions from others. The end result was that they began to believe negative perceptions of themselves and ultimately saw themselves in a poor light. It is very important to see yourself in a positive light. This means not putting yourself down and not criticizing yourself. It means becoming your own best friend. Often taking better care of yourself becomes essential. For all of us, it is important to get enough rest, eat well, learn how to sort through negative remarks that hurt, not get caught up and lost in feelings those remarks engendered, and to value who we really are and what each of us has to offer world.

Practical Steps of Enchantment

Let us sit back and review Seven Gateways to Enchantment and seminal ideas that led me there. It will give us an opportunity to ponder over what The Enchanted Self is all about. This might mean returning to some material already shared with you once before, but it is still 100% pertinent. For those who are new to Seven Gateways may please find them at http://www.enchantedself.com/eletterarchives.htm. The following article contains a short history of The Enchanted Self project alongwith some information on using our memories in healthy ways. This is critical to coming home to our Enchanted Selves. Let's remember that our Enchanted Self is that place somewhere between our minds, bodies, hearts and spirits, that always knows what feels good, what is healthy for us and what promotes joy and purpose! Going through article you will come across: 1) Short Description of The Enchanted Self 2) Katherine's Memory - Playing Elevator in Closet 3) Positive Memories - We All Have Them! 4) Peanut Butter: We All Love It

1) Short Description of The Enchanted Self

After I interviewed women outside of my practice, I realized that we do not reinforce, nor encourage capacities for joy and pleasure that we really have. Often, media further encourages a negative view of ourselves and our world. How could I begin to capture and teach others about capacities for personal joy that these women outside of my practice had taught me? I decided to share this news in my first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy In ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, I teach: 1. How you can live a more joyful life; a life of pleasure and meaning -what I call THE ENCHANTED SELF. 2. How you can reclaim from your own past your potential, talents, dreams and abilities and reinvent yourself in positive ways in present and into future. 3. How, if you are a therapist, you can change your treatment room into a place where your clients find their enchantment. Learn how healthy it is for your own mental health to benefit from focusing on what is right with your clients rather that what is wrong. 4. How, if you are or have been in therapy you can continue your personal growth by participating in THE ENCHANTED SELF activities at end of each chapter. When my book came out, I realized that I had a deep commitment to share with public and other professionals information I was gathering about how to live a more joyful, fulfilling life. This led to many assignments that I took on, including: THE ENCHANTED SELF newsletter that went around world for five years in paper and now with over 2000 readers goes around world on web! Lots of radio, e-radio and television appearances to teach how to live a more enchanted life; A second book, titled RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! that further brings each one of you into enchanted world of positive living, feeling and thinking. And MORE-Two new books on horizon-I'll tell you more about them soon and lots of products for women to cater to our fun-loving, inspirational sides. Come and see all my products on my website at www.enchantedself.com and www.psychjourney.com at enchanted gateways. And now, let's look some more at Basics: THE ENCHANTED SELF promotes a positive review of your life and encourages life style changes that lead to living a more joyful, authentic and meaningful life. Once you know how, it is just as easy to practice positive states of mind and body, as it is to repeat negative behaviors. I emphasize using your memories for positive, life enhancing purposes. I encourage reviewing your past to see that has given you pleasure and joy. I also help you rediscover talents and lost potential. Always I emphasize what is right with you rather than what is wrong. Let's give energy and support to: Remembering best, Practicing pleasure, Going for our potential! Don't forget: for those of you unfamiliar with THE ENCHANTED SELF, please visit my website www.enchantedself.com for more background on THE ENCHANTED SELF