Practical Ways to Bring Enchantment into Your LifeWritten by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
THE ENCHANTED SELF® teaches you how to access positive states of well being again and again. These positive states are unique to you and often reflect your interests, talents, and potential. I thought it would be fun to finally share with you some activities useful in helping you get in touch with your Enchanted Self. I hope you enjoy them and will let me know how they worked out by writing to me at encself@aol.com. 1. Relax and let your mind drift backward in time. Give yourself permission to drift back through your memory to a younger age. Let your intuition be your guide in choosing an appropriate age. Once you have chosen an age, imagine yourself in a room in one of homes of your childhood. Look at furniture, colors of room. Can you smell anything, any aromas of food cooking, or any other odors? Can you hear any noises, perhaps people talking? Is television on? What show might be on? Can you look out window from where you're sitting? What do you see? Jot down all positive thoughts and feelings that you associate with this memory on a piece of paper. Then make a list of all talents and positive capacities you had as a child. Thank about how you could link your positive traits from past forward to your present life. Don't get discouraged if you need to make changes in your present life. Changes can be positive, and there is always a way that you can successfully change, even if it is a little bit at a time. 2. Next, let's do an exercise geared to building your self-esteem, a necessary attribute to your Enchanted Self. Think about five positive statements that you can make about yourself. For example, you might say, "I am a most courteous and helpful person," or "I am always there for others, or "I can be trusted." Later on today, write down your five positive remarks about yourself. Put this piece of paper in your wallet or in your pocketbook. Read it to yourself at least once a day, for a period of one week. After a week, give yourself a mental hug, or some other form of congratulations, to emphasize to yourself how great it is that you have these positive traits. We all need practice in confirming what is good about ourselves. Seeing yourself in a positive light is a critical step in living a life of Enchantment.
| | RECIPE FOR ENCHANTMENT - THE THREE R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, RaptureWritten by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
In today's world there are so many wonderful and inspirational books. There are books filled with stories of Divine intervention, miracles happening, special positive moments never to be forgotten and stories of incredible coincidences. They help make us feel in harmony with universe. They help us fall asleep and have pleasant dreams. They often bring tears to our eyes, reinforcing an inner sense of wisdom that all is right with world even when appearances say that is not so. But there is one thing often missing from these books. It is mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy. The inspiration is there but it's perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment. Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work. Certainly we yearn for moments when right thing happens at exactly right time and world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting right life partner or winning lottery. And we all need at least some of those moments. But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary. They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc. It is all these times that THE ENCHANTED SELF focuses on. These are moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy. What is difference? The difference is usually perspiration. I mean mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call three R's of enchantment. Let's look at first of three R's. The first is REMEMBERING THE BEST AND LETTING GO OF THE REST. This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis. Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt. We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people. Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten. If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release positive energies we need to make most of present moment and to plan for future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in way of what can be done with present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating. Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us. Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to world. For example, child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on other side. How do we take all moments of life that are often repetitive and ordinary, and turn them into captivating personal times? One way is through optimizing our own sense of well being. This internal state is particularly reactive to our emotional and physical states of health. For instance, I remember occasions when good things were about to happen, but I was so overtired or anxious that I could not appreciate a special day. I also remember occasions when nothing happened, but because I felt well rested and truly at peace with myself I enjoyed every moment. How do we work on restoring ourselves? How do we gather our positive energies to be in our own best interest? Certainly one of most critical factors is seeing yourself in a positive light. If I don't truly value myself, I am certainly not going to take good care of myself. I am more responsive to criticism from a negative spouse or parent than my own inner feelings of self worth. I may not take good care of myself and results can be devastating. Over years I have seen so many clients who were not thriving because they had internalized negative comments, criticism and opinions from others. The end result was that they began to believe negative perceptions of themselves and ultimately saw themselves in a poor light. It is very important to see yourself in a positive light. This means not putting yourself down and not criticizing yourself. It means becoming your own best friend. Often taking better care of yourself becomes essential. For all of us, it is important to get enough rest, eat well, learn how to sort through negative remarks that hurt, not get caught up and lost in feelings those remarks engendered, and to value who we really are and what each of us has to offer world.
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