"There are two kinds of people in world: givers and takers. Takers might eat well, but givers sleep better at night." Aha!
Your humble scribe has had a tough time sleeping lately. I thought it might have something to do with happiness of keeping pace with a tornado toddler and an almost bursting-at-the-seams, more-than-pregnant wife. Or joy of fending back weeds threatening to overrun house and take over kingdom in a bloody coup. Or excitement of renovating an old room with crooked walls and a slanted floor to become a perfectly straight, modern nursery for our Beany-Baby-to-be. Or thrill of somehow trying to earn a few dollars to keep my ever-so-friendly and oh-so-understanding bank manager from gleefully slapping past-due stickers all over my front door.
Now I learn that my lack of sleep is from taking too much and not giving enough. So I set out to give as much as I could.
I decided to start by giving advice. "The blue would look better on you."
"What?" my wife asked. "You never comment on what I'm wearing, at least not voluntarily."
"It's my new sleeping therapy," I explained with excitement. "Givers sleep better than takers, so I just gave you some advice."
"Well, while you're at it, is there anything else you want to comment on?"
I saw my chance to give a compliment. "Overall, you are really beautiful."
"Why, thank you."
I was on a roll. I was really giving. This was my chance to give her my opinion. "Your hair is kind of ugly like that."
"What?! You take that back!"
"No, I can't," I protested. "That would make me a taker and I won't be able to sleep."
"Then you can just take your silly opinions and get out of here."
"No, I can't do that. I can't take ..." My sentence was cut short by hard realization that my nose and a door could not occupy same space at same time.