I’ve been sitting here for
past couple of hours watching
Atlanta Falcons get massacred by
Kansas City Chiefs. At this point
score is 49-10, which is a country (you fill in
word here) anyway you want to look at it. Seeing as how
outcome of
game appears to be a foregone conclusion, I decided to go outside and stretch my legs a bit.I went out, walked around, looked at some of
trees, and then cast my gaze outwards towards
front yard and
road that runs by our house. And while I’m doing all that lookin‘, I notice this mature lady, okay, this old lady, okaaayyyy, this very old lady out walking her dog. Normally, I wouldn’t pay much attention to that, but something did catch my eye in this particular situation - this old lady proceeded to walk her dog on up into my yard, and took him over towards some of my azaleas. I was wondering just what
deal was, so I walked a tad closer and did so just in
nick of time - this pooch was about to do a number two right in front of my azaleas. I guess my presence threw his timing off, cause he quickly stopped squatting and stood straight up. The old lady looked over towards me with a slightly annoyed countenance, to which I politely asked,
“Mam, why are y’all up here in my yard?”
Her polite, but firm response,
“Young man, it should be obvious that my pet needs to relieve himself. Now, if you don’t mind.”
I should have been a better man than this, but I’m not, so I said,
“Mam, this may come as a shock to you, but I don’t want your dog dropping brown bombs all over my front yard.”
Her wizened face did not indicate happiness, so she replied,
“And just what harm would it be if my Spoofy did his business here?”
I could barely contain myself,
“Mam, with all due respect, I’m not running a public pet toilet here - this is where I live, and frankly, I don’t want a big mound of doggie crap right out here in front of my azaleas.”
I could tell she was getting a bit more perturbed by her reply,
“Well, it’s obvious that you don’t like or respect animals.”