Poison Oak PleasuresWritten by Ed Williams
Sometimes I have to wonder why certain things were invented or created – stuff like mosquitoes, dandruff, athlete’s foot, or ticks. If you want to take it one step further you can add in things like gout, Mathew Lesko, constipation, or hiccups. All of these things are totally worthless, and I’ve wondered more than once why they’ve been inflicted upon human race.
That’s a pretty somber beginning for a column, huh? I think so, too, if truth be known. I might as well go ahead and come clean here, because writing column this week is very difficult for me, and reason it’s difficult is due to one of “top of list things” there’d be on a list of worthless items – I’m suffering from a bad case of poison oak, and it’s about to drive me nuts.
Don’t ask me how I got it, because I haven’t a clue. I haven’t walked around barefoot any recently, and only yesterday did I cut my grass, and I was already wrapped up with poison oak by that point. Any place that itches I can’t scratch – not top of my head, not little black ant who happens to be crawling up my left forearm, and I have to scrub down like a surgeon before I can even think about touching any of my private areas. My ankles have so many red blotches on them that they look like a series of angry islands, and I’ve just recently detected a couple of small ones on my neck, armpits, and stomach. I’m starting to look like someone at a performance art exhibition who begs passers-by to toss Campbell’s Tomato Soup on them, and that‘s nothing to brag about.
My personal appearance, therefore, is grotesque. The itching is even worse. Besides unbearable tingling that‘s a constant, worst thing is that places you need to scratch most are very places you shouldn’t - I wish I could scratch my crotch for about ten minutes, which is not nice to say, but it’s truth. Ditto for my armpits and back of my knees. If someone put a washtub full of ice before me, I swear that I’d get naked and jump in it without thinking twice. Heck, without thinking once.
Y’all think that I’m getting lots of family support during this personal time of crisis? HA! If I had a good case of leprosy I wouldn’t be avoided any more than I am now. Forget hugs or smooches or any other types of physical affection from anyone, heck, forget even a handshake. Will just turned one down that I offered him a little while ago because, in his words, “Dad, I’m afraid your crud will run down my arm and start doing weird things to me.” Nothing greater than love between a father and son, I suppose. That was such a downer that I decided to go over to The Wellness Center, work out, and get a sympathetic pat or two on back from my friends there. I threw on my gym shorts, drove over, and had just gotten up on Stairmaster when one of my good buddies, Will Zachary, walked up. He asked,
Planting Guide For RosesWritten by JT
The art of planting roses doesn’t have to be a complicated thing to do. When you have right knowledge there is no limit to how beautiful a garden or rosebush that you can create.
In this guide, you will not only have all of right skills at your fingertips, but you will get 101 tips that you can use to grow your very own bed of roses. With this extensive manual at hand, you will never have to buy another bouquet again. Now you will have all of beauty and delicious fragrance that roses can give you with you all time.
Planting Guide for Roses
Check with your local gardening center or florist for best type of roses to grow in you climate. If you are a novice, you should look for disease resistant types of roses because they require a lot less maintenance.
When planting roses, you want to pick a spot that is well lit in morning. You also want an area that is sunlit for at least 6 hours a day. Roses need a great deal of light if they are to grow properly.
Pick an area that has plenty of well drained soil. Great soil has a PH level where amount of acid in soil is at about 5.5-7.0. You can get a testing kit for your soil at any garden center.
Organic matter like manure or lime helps to nourish roots of your roses. You should soak roots in water or puddle clay for many minutes, and cut off root’s ends that are broken.