Poison Oak Pleasures

Written by Ed Williams


Sometimes I have to wonder why certain things were invented or created – stuff like mosquitoes, dandruff, athlete’s foot, or ticks. If you want to take it one step further you can add in things like gout, Mathew Lesko, constipation, orrepparttar hiccups. All of these things are totally worthless, and I’ve wondered more than once why they’ve been inflicted uponrepparttar 142768 human race.

That’s a pretty somber beginning for a column, huh? I think so, too, ifrepparttar 142769 truth be known. I might as well go ahead and come clean here, because writingrepparttar 142770 column this week is very difficult for me, andrepparttar 142771 reason it’s difficult is due to one ofrepparttar 142772 “top ofrepparttar 142773 list things” there’d be on a list of worthless items – I’m suffering from a bad case of poison oak, and it’s about to drive me nuts.

Don’t ask me how I got it, because I haven’t a clue. I haven’t walked around barefoot any recently, and only yesterday did I cut my grass, and I was already wrapped up with poison oak by that point. Any place that itches I can’t scratch – notrepparttar 142774 top of my head, notrepparttar 142775 little black ant who happens to be crawling up my left forearm, and I have to scrub down like a surgeon before I can even think about touching any of my private areas. My ankles have so many red blotches on them that they look like a series of angry islands, and I’ve just recently detected a couple of small ones on my neck, armpits, and stomach. I’m starting to look like someone at a performance art exhibition who begs passers-by to toss Campbell’s Tomato Soup on them, and that‘s nothing to brag about.

My personal appearance, therefore, is grotesque. The itching is even worse. Besidesrepparttar 142776 unbearable tingling that‘s a constant,repparttar 142777 worst thing is thatrepparttar 142778 places you need to scratchrepparttar 142779 most arerepparttar 142780 very places you shouldn’t - I wish I could scratch my crotch for about ten minutes, which is not nice to say, but it’srepparttar 142781 truth. Ditto for my armpits andrepparttar 142782 back of my knees. If someone put a washtub full of ice before me, I swear that I’d get naked and jump in it without thinking twice. Heck, without thinking once.

Y’all think that I’m getting lots of family support during this personal time of crisis? HA! If I had a good case of leprosy I wouldn’t be avoided any more than I am now. Forget hugs or smooches or any other types of physical affection from anyone, heck, forget even a handshake. Will just turned one down that I offered him a little while ago because, in his words, “Dad, I’m afraid your crud will run down my arm and start doing weird things to me.” Nothing greater thanrepparttar 142783 love between a father and son, I suppose. That was such a downer that I decided to go over to The Wellness Center, work out, and get a sympathetic pat or two onrepparttar 142784 back from my friends there. I threw on my gym shorts, drove over, and had just gotten up onrepparttar 142785 Stairmaster when one of my good buddies, Will Zachary, walked up. He asked,

Planting Guide For Roses

Written by JT


The art of planting roses doesn’t have to be a complicated thing to do. When you haverepparttar right knowledge there is no limit to how beautiful a garden or rosebush that you can create.

In this guide, you will not only have all ofrepparttar 142285 right skills at your fingertips, but you will get 101 tips that you can use to grow your very own bed of roses. With this extensive manual at hand, you will never have to buy another bouquet again. Now you will have all ofrepparttar 142286 beauty and delicious fragrance that roses can give you with you allrepparttar 142287 time.

Planting Guide for Roses

Check with your local gardening center or florist forrepparttar 142288 best type of roses to grow in you climate. If you are a novice, you should look for disease resistant types of roses because they require a lot less maintenance.

When planting roses, you want to pick a spot that is well lit inrepparttar 142289 morning. You also want an area that is sunlit for at least 6 hours a day. Roses need a great deal of light if they are to grow properly.

Pick an area that has plenty of well drained soil. Great soil has a PH level whererepparttar 142290 amount of acid inrepparttar 142291 soil is at about 5.5-7.0. You can get a testing kit for your soil at any garden center.

Organic matter like manure or lime helps to nourishrepparttar 142292 roots of your roses. You should soakrepparttar 142293 roots in water or puddle clay for many minutes, and cut offrepparttar 142294 root’s ends that are broken.

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