The separation process can be difficult for all involved. Separation anxiety is conflicting feelings that children have when they part from person or people to whom they are most attached. At end of school year, many children experience anxiety when saying goodbye to teachers and classmates. Many experience it again at end of summer when it’s time to go back to school.

Separation anxiety is a normal process in a child’s development. It is a process that requires open communication, as well as, self-awareness. The process will be successful if several key points are addressed.

Here are some simple Do’s and Don’ts to help alleviate your child’s end-of-school (and back-to-school) anxiety and help them (and you) enjoy a much happier summer.

Do’s

•Know yourself: Examine your thoughts and feelings about separation process.

•Know your child: Ask questions, find out his or her thoughts, feelings about end (or beginning) of school year, as well as meanings of communication.

•Intervene Early: Don’t wait until last day of school or last day of summer. Address significant and/or consistent behavior changes.

•Follow-through: Say what you mean and mean what you say.

•Communicate: Communication is key. Talk with teachers, listen, learn, and, most of all, be open

Don’ts

1. First of all, are you sure your child really is shy? Some children like to size up a situation before they jump in. Caution should not be misunderstood as shyness.

2. You'll need to find out type of situations that make your child shy. Some children are shy only when they are in a group. Others become shy when asked to make a presentation in front of class at school. Try to identify specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations which make them to be shy.

3. Don't call your child "shy". Studies have shown that often a child will grow to fit a label. Parental pressure on shy child can cause anxiety and insecurity, leading to a worse problem with shyness. Don't push your child to achieve above his or her individual level. If you have to use word 'shy' to describe your child always pair it with something positive, e.g. “John is a little shy around people but he is a brilliant pianist!”