Pecked to Death By Ducks Written by Maureen Killoran
Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look criticism in face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE."
| | The Mind, Information and AttitudeWritten by Tony McGlinn
Information is flowing to us at a great rate. The radio, television, internet, advertising, newspapers and magazines are giving us information all day. We also receive information from people we associate with in our daily lives. This article discusses some of ways that our minds, both conscious and subconscious, process and use that information. Our conscious mind is active whenever we are awake. Within conscious mind are abilities to think and reason. However, just because we have ability to think and reason, does not mean that we always actually do that. For much of time our conscious mind is in a passive state, just accepting all input that is coming in, and not evaluating that information at all. What happens in our conscious mind is interesting to us sometimes, but makes no difference to what happens in our lives. It is only when conscious mind takes some information, and passes it to our subconscious (sometimes called nonconscious or unconscious) mind, that it has an effect on our lives and results we get from our lives. However, subconscious mind has no ability to think or reason. It simply takes whatever information is fed to it, and acts on it. It makes no difference to your sub-conscious mind if information is helpful to you in getting better life results or if it will do opposite. But it makes all difference to you. Unfortunately many of us do not understand how and when this information is passed to our subconscious mind, and are also not aware of how subconscious mind uses information to produce results we get in our lives. For purpose of this short article, if you can accept that some of information coming to you has an effect on results you get in your life, then important question is 'How can I control this process so that more of results I get are positive?'
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