Parenting Yourself When You Have Small ChildrenWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
PARENTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU HAVE SMALL CHILDREN By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.There’s no doubt about it - parenting small children takes a lot of time. So much time that it’s very easy to forget about your child within. Yet you cannot be a really good parent while forgetting about your own feelings, needs and well-being. Haven’t you noticed that if you do not take care of yourself by having enough time for yourself you are much more irritable with your mate and children? Whether your job is being with your children all day, or you work out of home all day, or you work in your home and tend to your children all day - you need some time for yourself. When my children were small it was challenging to find time for myself. I worked at home, tended to my children, and had very little money for household help. Yet if I didn’t have time to myself to read, take a bath, do creative stuff or just stare at a flower, I had a hard time being a patient, loving and fun mom. What I did at that time is seek out adolescents who loved playing with little kids. I hired them (for not a lot of money - they were delighted to earn a little spending money and get to play with children as well) to play with my kids while I was in house taking time for myself. After an hour or so of restful or creative time, I was filled up enough within to be able to give to my children. When I didn’t take this time, my own Inner Child would feel unloved, unimportant and resentful. A part of good parenting is letting your children know that their needs are neither more nor less important than yours. In past, children were supposed to be seen and not heard and were given message that adults were more important than children. In more recent times, many children are given message that their needs and feelings are more important than adults’ needs. Neither message is based on truth of equality of each soul. For children to understand this equality, parents need to role model loving their children and loving themselves - not one at expense of other. If children are taught that adults are more important then children, children learn to be caretakers, putting themselves aside in deference to others. If children are taught that children are more important than adults, they learn to be brats, demanding attention and not caring about others. This is just one of reasons why it is so important for parents to take responsibility for caring about themselves - for lovingly parenting child within.
| | Developing Will Power and Self DisciplineWritten by Remez Sasson
Most people admire and respect strong individuals who have won great success by manifesting will power and self discipline. People in all walks of life, who with sheer will power, self discipline and ambition have improved their life, learned new skills, overcame difficulties and hardships, reduced their weight, rose high in their chosen field or advanced on spiritual path.The truth is that everyone can reach high levels of will power and self-discipline through a practical method of training. These inner power are not reserved for a few special people. Will power and self discipline are two of most important and useful inner powers in everyone’s life, and have always been considered as essential tools for success in all areas of life. They can be learned and developed like any other skill, yet, in spite of this, only few take any steps to develop and strengthen them in a systematic way. What is will power? It is inner strength to make a decision, take action, and handle and execute any aim or task until it is accomplished, regardless of inner and outer resistance, discomfort or difficulties. It bestows ability to overcomes laziness, temptations and negative habits, and to carry out actions, even if they require effort, are unpleasant and tedious or are contrary to one’s habits. What is self discipline? It is rejection of instant gratification in favor of something better. It is giving up of instant pleasure and satisfaction for a higher and better goal. It manifests as ability to stick to actions, thoughts and behavior, which lead to improvement and success. Self-discipline is self-control, and it manifests in spiritual, mental, emotional and physical discipline. The purpose of self-discipline is not living a limiting or a restrictive lifestyle. It does not mean being narrow minded or living like a fakir. It is one of pillars of success and power. It endows inner strength to focus all energy on a goal and persevere until it is accomplished.
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