Title: Parenting Starts Before Pregnancy Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 817 Category: Parenting

Parenting Starts Before Pregnancy By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

While it may seem farfetched to some people, many of my clients remember what they felt and experienced while still in womb. Comments such as these are not unusual:

“I knew even before I was born that my mother didn’t want me.”

“I could feel my mother’s fear and anxiety even before I was born.”

Parenting does not start once child is born. Good parenting starts even before getting pregnant. It starts by caring about what you eat, how much exercise and sleep you get, and by making sure that you are taking responsibility for your feelings of anxiety and stress. Your baby will feel what you feel, so learning how to be in peace and joy before getting pregnant is part of good parenting.

I loved being pregnant. I had always wanted children so I was thrilled to be pregnant. I loved feeling baby moving within me, awed by very fact of creating new life. I loved feeling an elbow or a knee slide across my stomach. I loved that my body could be a receptacle for bringing through this soul, this angel from heaven. I could not think of anything more profound, more worth doing. Who was this unique little person growing in my body?

I read every book I could on parenting and thought endlessly how I wanted to be a different parent than my parents were.

The problem was that I have never thought about how much my relationship with myself and with my husband might affect this child.

My husband was angry, distant and withdrawn during my pregnancy and first three months after giving birth to our son. He was a person who wanted control and he was not happy that I got pregnant six months before we had planned. He didn’t open his heart until our son smiled at him at three months of age.

It's true. After a lifetime of hard work and having earned literally hundreds of thousands of dollars, they end up with nothing.

So where did all their hard-earned cash go? The answer is, it passed right through their fingers.

While schools are great at teaching algebra, calculus, and geometry... how many of us learned about basics of personal finance and creating financial security for ourselves?

The truth is, earlier you learn to handle money, more likely you are to manage it properly and live a prosperous life.

So why not provide a little home schooling for your family and teach them basics? Here are 7 important lessons to instill in your kids about money:

1. Save something of what you earn

Acquiring savings habit is one of smartest things you can ever do.

If you're reading this now as a middle-aged parent, imagine how much you'd have in bank today if you'd saved 10% of everything you'd ever earned.

(It's almost scary to think about, isn't it?)

Teach your kids to save a little of everything they earn.

2. Don't borrow what you can't pay back

Debt is one of greatest social diseases of our time. The price to pay for "have now, pay later" philosophy is that you certainly will pay later.

Debt imprisons you in a job you don't like, creates stress and anxiety in your life, and erodes your wealth creation program.

You will never become rich while you're in debt. Period.

Teach your kids value of delayed gratification. "If in doubt, go without".

3. To give is to get

Managing money doesn't mean hoarding it and locking it away in its own purpose-built high security jail. It simply means being careful, spending wisely, and acquiring a regular savings habit.

Teach your kids that donating money to worthwhile causes is a noble thing to do, and that money returns to you in more ways than you can imagine.

4. Money isn't evil