PRACTICAL STEPS TO ENCHANTMENT - Part 1Written by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
In other weeks, you have learned many ways to get in touch with your personal enchantment. In this article, I would like to share several personal stories of enchantment with you.
Kay's happiest moments as a child were with a pencil and a sketchpad or watercolors. Her life as an adult has been very stressful: difficult teenage children, and a marriage that left much to be desired. One of her goals in treatment with me was to get back some of joy she experienced as a child. She consciously practiced taking time for herself everyday, in order to draw.
Talking about her vacation to Bahamas, which she went on recently, she said, "It was filled with usual family bickering, but I'm proud of myself that every night, as sun set, I was able to get out my sketch pad and draw. I didn't allow my family to get in way of this wonderful part of me that I've rediscovered. Even first night after we got home, I got out my paints and put in some personal art time. I love being able to own my own talent, and realize that no one can interfere with it. I share everything else in my life, but my talent belongs to me alone. I love every moment of my "me" time.
Tess enjoyed making doll's clothing as a child. The feel and sight of needle flying in and out of cloth was very soothing to her. As a young adult, she had a boyfriend who at first seemed to be a perfect match with her. But soon his negativity got her down and made her feel unhappy. She found that she was not using her artistic talents anymore. She realized that she was trying to deny certain parts of herself in order to make relationship work. But in spite of her efforts, it just wasn't working. When Tess finally got courage to suggest joint therapy to her boyfriend, he declined, and after much fighting he suggested that they split up. And they did break up.
PRACTICAL STEPS TO ENCHANTMENT - Part 2Written by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
This is second article sharing little case studies with you about people who have discovered successful ways to get in touch with their personal enchantment, i.e. positive states of well-being uniquely suited to them. Often times they pulled from their own past experiences positive parts of themselves to rebirth and give new life to.
Having felt quite down in therapy, Frank learned to work on his difficult marriage, and to begin to redefine his own talents and potential. One night Frank talked about a remarkable insight: "I was sitting in salesroom at work, and suddenly I had an "aha" moment. I realized that I'm definitely not a salesman at heart. I love managing, and that is what I should be doing. Instead, I've been trying to fit myself into wrong role for years and years. I can see now that I tried to become a salesman because I thought that was best road to earn money. My father had been a traveling salesman, and I swallowed his definition about what a father should be, and what a husband should be. Now I see that all those 'should bes' were killing my soul.
I've already started to think about new job opportunities at work. I actually think that there might be a spot for me in another area, so that I won't have to change companies."
Frank was beginning to recognize his own needs, in this case in terms of his workday fulfillment. He is an example of someone on road to personal enchantment, because he was willing to define his needs, and he was willing to change.
Fran says, "Getting in touch with my Enchanted Self left me feeling free in body and in spirit. I found myself passing a yard sale. I went in and bought a used cheerleader's twirling baton. I couldn't wait to get home and swing baton in privacy of my living room, just as I had at age of twelve."