Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004.
OR, HOW SNOW WHITE & FRIENDS SENT SANTA PACKING!
It seems that we can longer languish in reveries of "Christmas" anymore.
"Christmas" is now "persona non grata" unless it comes with lotsa ka-ching and consumer clatta!
"Christmas" has been replaced by non-threatening "happy holiday" greetings, profitable "holiday" gift cards, and a new medical disease called "ho ho ho" syndrome (I'll let you figure that one out).
Gone are days when we can enjoy such pleasures as "Christmas" carols, "Christmas" crackers or heaven forbid even "Christmas" trees, without a knock at door from a politically-correct enforcement officer dressed in an bright blue suit with gold braid and a matching hat plus a perplexing smiley frown on his face.
Although I cannot take credit for witty work below, I thought I would pass it along to all those who still believe in a reindeer named Rudolph, jolly St. Nick (aka Santa Claus/Kris Kringle), jingling bells full of comfort and joy, not to mention a mouth-watering slice of home-made hot minced pie.
-- POLITICALLY INCORRECT SANTA --
'Twas night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves," "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labour conditions at North Pole Were alleged by union to stifle soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to wilds by Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by E.P.A. And people had started to call for cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur-trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose . And had gone on Geraldo, in front of nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,