Overcoming Difficult People

Written by Alan Tutt

Overcoming Difficult People by Alan Tutt http://www.KeysToPower.com

Everywhere I turn lately, I find information to help deal with difficult people. My biggest reaction to all of it is this, why just deal with them when you can completely overcome them? Why just learn to tolerate being around those you can't stand, when you haverepparttar option to either change them or get them out of your life completely!

Let me describe a situation that kind of sparked this whole thing. My girlfriend is a musician who does a lot of work for our church. One thing she did was to bring in another musician to add torepparttar 126092 experience ofrepparttar 126093 congregation, a guitar player who came in to play a few songs along withrepparttar 126094 keyboard and singers. Everything went well, until afterwards when he stormed out ofrepparttar 126095 church without saying anything to anyone. Well, Linda met up with him later that day to pay him for his participation, and to find out what went wrong. At that point, he started "reading herrepparttar 126096 riot act" asking how could a church possibly be right if it didn't preach this or that.

Linda tried to explain to this misguided guitar player that our church teaches things a little different from what he was used to, and that she had tried to explain that to him before bringing him intorepparttar 126097 church (he was from a very conservative, fire-and-brimstone kind of church). Our church is one that teaches acceptance of others, living peacefully, and livingrepparttar 126098 principles taught byrepparttar 126099 great teacher, Christ.

The difficult guitar player had a problem thatrepparttar 126100 minister didn't even mentionrepparttar 126101 name ofrepparttar 126102 great teacher, althoughrepparttar 126103 lesson was clearly one that followsrepparttar 126104 teachings. For over an hour, Linda tried to tell this person that she acceptedrepparttar 126105 fact that he believed things should have been different, and that she felt no need to convince him of anything. He, onrepparttar 126106 other hand, felt very compelled to point out "the error of her ways". In short, he was being very difficult.

If I had been there, I would have been able to take care ofrepparttar 126107 situation, but it reminded me that there are specific techniques to use in order to get someone else to come around to your way of thinking. And when this is impossible, you can always getrepparttar 126108 other person to not be so difficult. That is what I would like to share with you today.

There are two basic strategies for overcoming a difficult person. One is passive andrepparttar 126109 other is active. The passive strategy is one that has been taught by great motivational leaders throughout history. Christ phrased it this way, "If your enemy strikes you onrepparttar 126110 cheek, offer himrepparttar 126111 other cheek as well." This does not mean that you actually ask to be beaten, but that you do not resistrepparttar 126112 attack. Gandhi also taughtrepparttar 126113 path of no resistance.

With many personalities, if you don't fight back, then they realize that they cannot "get a rise" out of you and move on to someone they can intimidate. This works best whenrepparttar 126114 difficult person is being difficult as a means of 'proving' that they are strong and powerful. And this is usuallyrepparttar 126115 case when you have someone who feels very insecure about his or her own identity. In Linda's case above, this wasrepparttar 126116 tactic she tried to use, but it failed becauserepparttar 126117 difficult person was not acting from a standpoint of insecurity.

In Linda's case, she was trying to overcome a person who had a strong need to be right. With this kind of personality, resistance or not, they will continue to fight for what they believe isrepparttar 126118 right course of action. Religious wars have been all too common, and many political wars have been based onrepparttar 126119 same theme. In our lives, we usually don't pursuerepparttar 126120 conflict long enough for it to escalate into an all-out war. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, you need to take an active approach to overcomingrepparttar 126121 difficult person.

The active approach has a few aspects that may be applied duringrepparttar 126122 course ofrepparttar 126123 encounter. The first aspect, which must be applied right fromrepparttar 126124 start, and all throughrepparttar 126125 encounter, is to communicate torepparttar 126126 difficult person that they are fighting a losing battle. No matter what they try to say or do, they will not convince you to become any different than you are. Now this will not be something you say outright. If you do, then you are throwing out a challenge, and difficult people always love challenges. Don't makerepparttar 126127 situation any more difficult than it is already. Instead, you will implementrepparttar 126128 second aspect ofrepparttar 126129 active approach.

Animal Cruelty: The Key to Serial Minds

Written by C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot

What makes a common person a Serial Killer? According to research, serial killers exhibit what is known asrepparttar 'Triad of Warning Signs in Childhood.'1

Indicators include:

* Firestarting, invariably just forrepparttar 126091 thrill of destroying things * Cruelty to Animals: Most children can be cruel to animals, such as pullingrepparttar 126092 legs off of spiders, but future serial killers often kill larger animals, like dogs and cats, and frequently for their solitary enjoyment rather than to impress peers. * Bedwetting beyondrepparttar 126093 age when children normally grow out of such behavior.

One of society's more notorious serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer explained that wanted to remove 'free will' from his victims so that they would stay with him. In his past, he suffered from abandonment and was afraid of loss and any social upheaval. Another one of his extremely displaced characteristics was that he suffered from low self-esteem. His parents divorced during his teens, and when he did go to college, he performed badly. Upon examination of three psychologists, Dahmer was found to be manipulative, resistant and evasive.2 Further studies of Dahmer revealed that he could not tolerate rejection or abandonment; and that control wasrepparttar 126094 number one factor for him. One clue to his unusually sick behavior was that even in his relationships, Dahmer did not gratify his sexual partners - instead, Dahmer always expected to be pleased by them.

According to Pat Brown's Book, Killing for Sport: Insiderepparttar 126095 Minds of Serial Killers '...serial killers are of average intelligence....most have low level jobs and make poor decisions. ' And, '...it is exactly these poor decisions that get them in trouble on their jobs, in their relationships, and in their crimes.'

Based on studies, serial killers usually choose victims that they can easily overpower, such as persons having short height and low weight. Additionally, 'serial killing is not about sex at all, but about power and control and revenge on society.' 2

Ted Bundy, who murdered at least 36 women, was known for his expressed desire to acquire things. From theft, torepparttar 126096 importance of social standing, he pined to break free fromrepparttar 126097 working class from which he was born. Additionally, he 'needed' to possess expensive items as well. Per research, Ted came from a single-parent home, was a severe sexual deviate; and women threatened him. He feltrepparttar 126098 need to not only control them, but to incapacitate them as well. As a teenager, Ted Bundy became known for his violent temper.

But what do serial killers like Dahmer, Bundy and others like them have in common?

'Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Andrew Cunanan, David 'Son of Sam' Berkowitz, and Albert 'Boston Strangler' DeSalvo were ALL cruel to animals before they started hurting people.'6 Subsequently, killer teenagers Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold (Columbine HS), and Kip Kinkel were also known for their past history of animal cruelty. Inrepparttar 126099 study from of 'The Care of pets within child abusing families,' presented by DeViney & Lockwood, 88 percent ofrepparttar 126100 homes were animal abuse had occurred, children were also abused.

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