Focusing your attention on self-protection prevents you from being fully present. You may miss opportunities to change outcome of situation, to play it differently, to see how it IS different. You may miss opportunities to truly connect with someone.

That's why letting go of your past - or "getting complete" - is vitally important. If you do not get complete, you will carry old pain into present and future relationships. If you do not get complete, you may perceive any situation, similar to ones in which you were hurt, as more of same. This will make most relationships difficult, and may even prevent them from forming at all.

Being complete with your past has two key benefits. First, when faced with a situation that causes you pain or resentment, you become free to choose your actions rather than reacting from fear of pain. Secondly, you no longer have an emotional reaction when looking back on hurtful situations.

Can you see why it is vital that you become complete with your past if you are to build your ideal relationship?

Here are ten suggestions for getting complete with any past hurt or resentment. Try working on a few situations at a time until you find you are complete with them.

1. Write letters. Write letters to person who made you feel resentful or hurt. Freely say everything you want to say. Write as many letters as necessary to feel complete, but do not send them. Instead, do something with them that helps you feel you are getting rid of painful feelings. Flush letters down toilet, burn them, bury them, etc.

2. Tell your story. Tell your story over and over to a trusted friend or advisor. Make sure person listening gives no advice and makes no comments to dispute your feelings, but instead allows you to talk and listens attentively.

3. Talk to right person. Talk to person with whom you feel incomplete. Do this only if you are sure this person will be able to listen to you in same way as described in #2. Make sure not to blame or be rude, but talk about your feelings and consequences in your life. If you have opportunity, have as many conversations as you need to get complete.

4. Imagine. Imagine yourself in same room as person with whom you have incompletion. Imagine them attentively listening to you while you say everything you need to say. Repeat this process many times until you are done.

Knowing first impression we make is a lasting one, why do we insist on answering our phone simply by saying "HELLO?" Most of us just don't think about it. Let's look at a couple alternatives.

If you are an individual, you might choose to answer phone like this:

"Hello. This is Chris Bradford. Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?"

Or, if you are a corporation or other business entity, you might choose to answer phone in this manner:

"Thank you for calling Brande's Dream Team. This is Chris Bradford. How may I help you today?"

With either of these methods, you will be making a truly professional first impression.

What about your answering machine? Does it simply take messages, or do you also use it as a promotional tool? Whoever is calling you wants to speak to you. They will probably leave a message. So you have their attention, for about one minute. If your message is any longer than one minute, they are more likely to hang up on you.

Let's look at a simple sample script.

"Thank you for calling. This is Chris Bradford, distributor of wonderful products and promoter of an exceptional business opportunity. I regret I am unavailable to take your call at moment. However, Your call is very important to me. At sound of tone, please leave me as detailed of a message as possible, and I will return your call within 24 hours."

In this message you accomplished several important things.

1. You thanked them for calling you.

2. You gave them a brief introduction as to what you do.