Our Present Reality

Written by Joseph Ghabi

The article below may be copied for Free to your site or ezine that you includerepparttar byline. Please notifyrepparttar 132575 author of your use of their article and provide a courtesy copy of your publication. Thank you.

Our Present Reality – By Joseph Ghabi

How do you envision your life and dreams? Do you look at them with open or closed eyes? If you have your eyes open, that means you are not afraid to go after what you dream of. With closed eyes, it means that you are having some difficulties and are fearful or hesitant to go after them.

How do you look at your past experiences? Do you look at these with open or closed eyes? Looking at your past experiences with open eyes means that they are inrepparttar 132576 distant past and you are over them. If you look at these with closed eyes, it means that you still have difficulties in letting go or accepting what happened in your past experiences and also in forgivingrepparttar 132577 people who were involved inrepparttar 132578 situations.

There are two realities in every experience or lesson in our lives. Those realities determinerepparttar 132579 effects andrepparttar 132580 direction we will take in our lives. However,repparttar 132581 choice is always ours and it is our own responsibility to do whatever we decide to do with our lives inrepparttar 132582 end.

Anytime you have problems or if you happen to be experiencing problems atrepparttar 132583 moment,repparttar 132584 way you see yourself within that problem will determine what your reality is. In life there is always black and white, yet many of us are stuck inrepparttar 132585 middle inrepparttar 132586 grey area. Being indecisive all of your life is not an answer though is it? We are talking about YOUR LIFE here, and it seems that most of us do not give a toss about it! The people who don’t care arerepparttar 132587 ones who have already given up on life. That isrepparttar 132588 case whether they like it or not! These arerepparttar 132589 people who thrive on gettingrepparttar 132590 sympathy which comes when they constantly complain about their life to other people. Unfortunately, in reality living this way is not a solution to your problems either!

Let’s consider, for instance, this scenario. You were abused physically or mentally during childhood from either your father, mother or from someone else. You are now grown up and have become mature man or woman. In this case there is now a huge chance that you will become gay or lesbian in your style of relationship. This is common for many of us, although in many cases it can be an unconscious choice made as a means of rebellion againstrepparttar 132591 fact you experienced abuse earlier in your life from a member ofrepparttar 132592 opposite sex. This usually would happen whenrepparttar 132593 experience of being abused has not been handled properly. Don’t get me wrong here, I have no problem with same sex couples, however, in our case here, this is not living withrepparttar 132594 right intention towards ourselves orrepparttar 132595 other people involved. The many people who are familiar with circumstances such as this will likely have confusion about their sexual identity at a later stage in life. We will leave this subject for deeper discussion at a later time!

We will now consider your heterosexual relationship inrepparttar 132596 case where your childhood abuse was again with someone ofrepparttar 132597 opposite sex. In many instances, after experiencing this, we might always fall intorepparttar 132598 wrong relationships once again. Many of these relationships end up being abusive, regardless ofrepparttar 132599 type of abuse. Abuse is abuse and is always wrong in any case. What would happen then in your situation? In many cases you end up blaming yourself as if you wererepparttar 132600 one who was provoking your partner, or whoever it was, to abuse you. Then you always end up forgiving him or her for their abuse by making up all kinds of excuses to justify what they did wrong to you inrepparttar 132601 first place. Why do you do that? You know you are neither helping yourself or them by accepting this kind of treatment. Think about it!

Let’s get back torepparttar 132602 fact that you were abused as a child that you have not been able to handle it properly. As a child being abused you probably felt hopeless and that there was nothing you could have done or said to stop this because you did not want to hurt your father, mother or other people inrepparttar 132603 family. Maybe one of your parents,repparttar 132604 one who is not abusing you, is also afraid ofrepparttar 132605 other and is making excuses on their behalf. What has all this to do with your situation today? It is probably very similar but you are playing different roles. The best excuse you can tell yourself is “I love him or her” I do not understand this when on top of it all you are still being abused and or taken advantage of. How do you justify this as being a love relationship making you feel happy?

What isrepparttar 132606 link between both experiences of being a child and being an adult? It is possible that you went for therapy between those ages, yet it might not have brought you any effect. In many cases your therapy probably succeeded in fixingrepparttar 132607 immediate problem, perhaps on a ‘conscious’ level. For many of you though,repparttar 132608 therapy probably did not do much because unless you and your therapist were working on healingrepparttar 132609 fear based atrepparttar 132610 root of where your trouble stems from at an earlier stage in your life. If this isrepparttar 132611 case, do not blame yourself. You probably do not know any better!

Healing Anger and Violence in Our Society

Written by Margaret Paul , Ph.D.

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 132572 end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Healing Anger and Violence in Our Society Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 642 Category: Emotional Healing/ Spiritual Growth


I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners forrepparttar 132573 past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted inrepparttar 132574 development of a profound six-step healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use throughoutrepparttar 132575 day (FREE course available - see resource box).

The violence in Littleton, Colorado sparked many discussions regardingrepparttar 132576 cause of such horrifying behavior onrepparttar 132577 part of two teenage boys. I would like to address this in terms on Inner Bonding.

In my experience, it is not possible for us as human beings to be violent when we are connected to our true, core Self and to a source of spiritual guidance. When we dorepparttar 132578 work we need to do to develop a spiritually connected loving adult self, we have an inner adult who places limits on our behavior regarding harming ourselves and others.

However, it is very common in our society for people to lose touch with their true, core Self. Since our core Self holds our intrinsic feelings of compassion and empathy for others, losing touch with this aspect of ourselves may cause us to be able to harm others without feeling any pain or remorse over it. The question is, then, how do we lose our connection with our core Selves?

Many child development experts state that those people who disconnect from their empathy and compassion, generally do so betweenrepparttar 132579 ages of two and four. If our parents lacked empathy and compassion for our feelings and needs, we might have chosen to be caretakers and take care of their needs, or we might have chosen to become like them and not care about others' feelings and needs. We may have had no role modeling for maintaining our own inner connection. If our parents shut themselves down to our pain and their own, we may have learned to shut down to our own and others vulnerable feelings. If, in addition, we were physically, sexually, emotionally or verbally abused or neglected, we may have shut down to survive.

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