Our Defining MomentsWritten by Glen Gould
Do your recall your defining moment? Is there a spot somewhere in your life when you can look back and say, "yes, without a doubt, that one moment in my life determined who I am today"?
Individuals interested in personal development are often more likely to be able to locate a defining moment in their past, perhaps even several. But vast majority of people go through life without awareness of power of defining moment. The majority of people are unaware there are defining moments.
What is a defining moment? It may not be what you think. A defining moment is a point in life when decision meets action. In a most dramatic example, a murderer's defining moment is that split second when decision is made to pull trigger and action is taken. Prior to pulling trigger- that individual is not a murderer- after pulling trigger- that person is defined as a murderer.
Let's hope none of us ever has that type of defining moment. Actually, we face defining moments more often that we realize. It is because we face them so frequently and so rapidly that we fail to recognize them for what they are.
For example, when someone pulls in front of us in traffic and we decide to flip them finger; at that moment we have decided to be defined as rude. When we decide to tip twenty percent instead of fifteen, we have a defining moment. We have defined ourselves as good tippers. Examples of defining moments are endless and available for interpretation. Use your imagination and find them in your everyday life.
The true power of defining moment is in repetition. In our traffic example, if one is cut off again and decides not to flip finger, they may be defining themselves as tolerant. If they consistently flip finger each and every time they are cut off, they are more likely to be defined as rude. When repetition becomes consistent, we create patterns that become habits. Habits become personality traits and these define who we are.
Every day we have defining moments that are created by action. Small or big these moments determine who we are to a large extent. What makes one defining moment more powerful than another?
Make it Easier to Change those HabitsWritten by Lynn Cutts
If you’ve ever tried to change an ingrained habit, or develop a new one, you know that it can be a real struggle, with a lot of self-denial, backsliding, guilt, and frustration. Yet it doesn’t have to be. It’s simply that most people go about changing a habit all wrong. They jump right into it, without any real planning or preparation, hoping to just “gut it out.” As often as not, this approach fails. Here’s why:
1. No focus. Instead of concentrating on one behavior, and working with it until it sticks, many people try to make too big a change all at once. For example, they decide they are going to go on a diet, start exercising and give up smoking all at same time. Trying to do all that becomes overwhelming, exhausting, and confusing. It’s an almost guaranteed road to failure. Instead, focus only on your top priority – say, losing weight. You can get to other changes later when you’ve got first one down.
2. No vision. People don’t have a clear vision of benefits changing this habit will bring them. By not seeing what they are moving towards, it’s impossible to get - and stay - motivated. Before you get started, write down what you want to change, and why. Spend some time seeing yourself after you’ve successfully made that change. Picture yourself twenty-five pounds lighter. What are you wearing? Where are you going? You’ll be a lot more motivated.
3. No goal. Without a well thought out, specific, measurable goal with a time limit on it, people flounder. “I want to lose weight,” doesn’t have one-tenth power of, “I want to lose twenty-five pounds by Thanksgiving.” So create a written goal with specifics - and a deadline. That way, you know what you have to do every day to reach it. It’s a lot easier to work with specifics than generalities.
4. No commitment. Often, people think they should change a behavior, or are told that they should, but deep down inside, they don’t want to. So they try to make that change, only to give up after a week or two. Then they feel bad about themselves, figure they’re failures, and give up. The problem lies not in them, but in lack of commitment. You’ll never succeed in losing those twenty-five pounds if you’re not truly committed. If you’re not sure that you really want to change a habit, work on your motivation and commitment first! Because without those two, you won’t succeed.