Our Comfort Zone

Written by Bridget Nolen


On my second trip to San Francisco I bought a light green vintage t-shirt that said “I wish you were here.” I didn’t even think twice about buying it. I didn’t try it on. I didn’t look atrepparttar price tag. As I packed for my third trip I made sure it was folded neatly in my bag. Unlike every article of clothing that I questionedrepparttar 105724 necessity of as I attempted to downsize my luggage, this I packed without hesitation. This was my third trip to SanFransisco. The first time was with an old boyfriend when we were 21. The second time was just about eight months ago with a close friend. This time I was visiting a friend from college, Holly, who was transferred here from New York and was only on her seventh week of residence inrepparttar 105725 Marina section of SanFransisco. Holly, without exception, is a handful of people’s “favorite person.” She is naturally beautiful, equally inside and out, both fashionable in her introspective opinions and her ability to make simple style look genuine and sheek. By all standards, Holly is that girl that everyone can define by one word, “cool.” I was drawn to her in college because of how outwardly different and inwardly similar we are. Like me she is down to earth, patient, low maintenance, strong, and reflective. Unlike me she is what her mother calls her “independent daughter.” She is random in that she has a collection of friends that she has maintained through different ages and stages in her life that are very different from each other yet united by one very important and common love: Holly. I too feel successful aboutrepparttar 105726 variety and amount of relationships I have maintained overrepparttar 105727 years. The difference being that those people that are of a different age or at a different stage then me that I have remained close with are just notrepparttar 105728 people I call up on a Saturday night to see what they are doing. Holly does. Holly takes risks, embraces opportunity, follows her heart and when she begins to feel comfortable with a certain place or a certain group of people…she makes a CHANGE. To her, there is not comfort in a comfort zone, there is danger. Danger in becoming closed mind to different types of people and different kinds of chances. Danger in staying still, in doing nothing, she thinks that takes no courage at all. So SanFransisco, at this moment in time, is clearlyrepparttar 105729 place for her. When I first arrived her small apartment was crowded with a few people who never met each other. They were all very different from one another, from their religion to race to sexual orientation to politics. They truly embraced each other’s company immediately, curious about whatrepparttar 105730 other did and loved, excited atrepparttar 105731 prospect of spendingrepparttar 105732 entire night with brand new people. At first, I was a bit uncomfortable. Back home in Philadelphiarepparttar 105733 incidences of us having a get together with people that not only don’t know each other, but don’t know each other well are few and far between. The chance that I would walk into a party (as I did on this day) and someone would ask me what I am passionate about is extremely slim. Forrepparttar 105734 first few moments of listening to these strangers converse and openly reflect on their feelings about their lives I started to feel bad aboutrepparttar 105735 fact that our conversations at home tend to center around whether to go to Kildare’s orrepparttar 105736 U.S. Hotel. But I quickly realized that we don’t spend as much time on these conversations because we usually knowrepparttar 105737 answers,repparttar 105738 people at my parties are usually my best friends. In many ways we lookrepparttar 105739 same, actrepparttar 105740 same, and loverepparttar 105741 same things. So begins my process of trying to figure out whether this is a good thing…or a bad thing… As we (the strangers and I) left Holly’s one room apartment to head out torepparttar 105742 bars, I commented how these living arrangements are in stark contrast to our at home. If you live alone in various parts of our city I assume it’s because you have an exceptionally good job or you don’t have that many friends. We live in big old houses with close friend’s right downrepparttar 105743 street from all our other close friends. There are exceptions of course, our friends that have chosen to buy houses in places that are more affordable like New Jersey orrepparttar 105744 suburbs, our friends that have chosen to get married earlier and have committed to a lifestyle of going out to dinner with their “couple” friends, having a glass of wine and coming home (that was a joke…kind of), our friends that have happily leftrepparttar 105745 circle of people that at times can feel suffocating, monotonous, and dramatic. So of courserepparttar 105746 lifestyle I am about to explain is not representative of allrepparttar 105747 people my age that live in Philadelphia. But forrepparttar 105748 most part,repparttar 105749 Californians were surprised to hear how many people our age freely choose our lifestyle. I would come to find out, that I was equally surprised to see how many people freely chose theirs. In Philadelphia we hardly leave our comfort zones. In our view…whyrepparttar 105750 hell would we…we are very comfortable there (oh, and they hardly curse in California...another difference. They remarked onrepparttar 105751 cursing as much as they made me say words like “bad,” “water,” and “towel” over and over again). Our circles of friends and acquaintances are filled almost entirely with people fromrepparttar 105752 Philadelphia area. It is friends from high school; friends from college, old boyfriends, friends fromrepparttar 105753 shore, friends of our families, friends of our friends. When you meet someone new in your life,repparttar 105754 chances are that they are already in someway connected with someone old. It isrepparttar 105755 familiar faces that you see inrepparttar 105756 same few bars on Main Street in Manayunk. andrepparttar 105757 same bar on Dune Drive in Avalon. The entire circle moves from their houses in Manayunk inrepparttar 105758 winter to their houses on Twenty-first street inrepparttar 105759 summer (I’ve been saying “one last summer” since I was twenty three…at twenty seven I’ve given it up). We move in herds. We congregate in circles. We live in groups. And even pushing thirty this is yet to be uncommon, it’s quiterepparttar 105760 opposite…still very desirable. There’s a shirt that they sell inrepparttar 105761 bar in Avalon that says “When I grow up I am going to gorepparttar 105762 Princeton just like my mommy and daddy did.” If we continue on this path, although laughable, purchasing this shirt at some point is looking more and more likely. I thought of this shirt when one ofrepparttar 105763 California people asked me aboutrepparttar 105764 dating scene in Philadelphia. I had to laugh at how my “dates” consist of going out withrepparttar 105765 same ten people torepparttar 105766 same places and then seeing what happens at three inrepparttar 105767 morning. It’s very difficult when you are caught up in a group of people to ever choose people and places outside your comfort zone. It’s like groundhogs day...the same day over and over again. It can be frustrating, it can also be comforting. Although at times it feels lonely, it will never allow you to be alone. After many conversations with single friends in this situation we all agree that our future husbands and wives might not be residing in our present comfort zone… not for lack of effort either. There is some point when I guess you let go ofrepparttar 105768 fairytale notion that we all will just grow up and marry each other and live onrepparttar 105769 same street forever happily ever after. While I can’t say I have completely let go of that fantasy, we all recognizerepparttar 105770 need to “get out there” more…we just don’t want to.

Catch Cheaters Using Software Technology

Written by Luigi Di Serio


Technology andrepparttar presence ofrepparttar 105723 Internet and other wireless or mobile communication devices within our culture have maderepparttar 105724 opportunity for cheating and infidelity increase significantly. E-mails, instant messengers, chats, forums, community-based (membership) web sites and mobile phones have made communication with a secret partner a very convenient task. People have become so comfortable using these technologies as catalyst to their covert relationship, but luckily forrepparttar 105725 victims of infidelity,repparttar 105726 modern world of technology is a double-edged sword. Most of these “cheaters” are so arrogant and naďve, they believe they can’t get caught, because of password protection and other privacy related conveniences that come with these technologies. Well, they better think again! Computer stores virtually every action that takes places on a pc, where data recovery experts, investigators and/or law enforcement can easily recover. However, these are expenses or not easily available solutions torepparttar 105727 public. Fortunately, today there are so many powerful “spy” software programs like SpyAgent that can monitor ANY and ALL computer and Internet activity, recording IM conversations, outgoing and even incoming email and all web sites visited. Keystrokes and screen shots along with passwords can be easily captured, which makes catching a cheater a much easy and less expensive task then it was before.

Cheating Spouse Information Shocking cheating spouse statistics and information.

The Internet has proven itself to be a common ground for a cheating spouse. If you suspect your husband or wife is having an affair, you are probably correct.

Take a look at these SHOCKING spouse spying statistics courtesy of usmarriagelaws.com.

> 85% of WOMEN who feel they have a cheating spouse ARE correct. > 50% of MEN who feel they have a cheating spouse ARE correct. > 70% of MARRIED WOMEN do not know about their spouses' affair. > 54% of MARRIED MEN do not know about their spouses' affair.

Spouses and lovers have cheated throughout history. Only recently have affairs grown more common because ofrepparttar 105728 Internet. Whether it is a cyber affair or a physical affair,repparttar 105729 Internet plays a major role in almost EVERY affair.

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