Osama and Saddam
You know that if he could've done it before 911, Osama would've come out of his cave and gone to top of a mountain where his cell phone reception was better and had a conversation with Saddam that would've probably gone something like following (translated into English for your convenience):
Osama said, "Hello, Saddam?"
"Who's this?" Saddam asked.
"No, Osama. Hold on while I try another spot… Can you hear me now?"
"Osama! What can I do you for?"
"Saddam, my buddy, my friend. You know that we've never quite seen eye-to-eye."
"That's because you're almost eight feet tall, you freak."
"That's what I like about you, Saddam, your sense of humor. And your desire to kill infidels."
"What are you trying to butter me up for? I'm really busy. The American dogs are barking on my doorstep. I've got nerve gas, nuclear materials, smallpox and anthrax to pack up before they arrive and get it out of country so they can't find it. There are banks to loot. I've got sons-in-law to behead. A dictator's work is never done."