Online Fan Clubs: Group mechanics, emotional addiction, and separation anxiety

Written by Kathleen Johnson

Online Fan Clubs: Group mechanics, emotional addiction, and separation anxiety Kathleen Johnson 10/14/03

Online communication strips emotional cues from conversation: tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language amongst others. This creates anonymity which hastens intimacy. People become bonded in mailing lists. The regular contact creates a sense of a relationship. Real time chats increaserepparttar rate of information exchange andrepparttar 132490 software architecture allows for transposingrepparttar 132491 event into a book form to be read and digested at a later time.

The virtual neighborhood Virtual contact promotes support, encouragement, and sharing thus overcomes isolation. The Group becomesrepparttar 132492 neighborhood, a community,repparttar 132493 coffee shop,repparttar 132494 Saturday night drag down main street to “see and be seen“. In groups at first there isrepparttar 132495 honeymoon period where all is wine and roses, then comesrepparttar 132496 disenchantment period whererepparttar 132497 boundaries are tested, and finally there is cohesiveness. Early provocateurs challengerepparttar 132498 group leader and then depart to form, sometimes, hostile communities that thrive on “fight and flight”.

The Fan Club These “fan clubs” arerepparttar 132499 newly identified school yard gangs that are operated by, primarily, cyber bullies. These “fan club” members had prior been emotionally addicted torepparttar 132500 Group they have exited from (exit is either voluntarily or involuntarily). Their detrimental emotional dependence onrepparttar 132501 Group had been brought on by loneliness, lack of emotional support in their personal lives, lack of self esteem because of lack of socially productive activities. In real life boys tend to use their “fists” to resolve arguments, and girls tend to use “friendship“. This trend follows intorepparttar 132502 Group setting online. You will find thatrepparttar 132503 males tend to “flame” but remain static onrepparttar 132504 boards, andrepparttar 132505 females tend to use flight into cliques on other boards from where they use “friendship” as a weapon by exclusion and flame from a distance. It is a fascinating phenomenon. When these two types of Group member become hostile they often use language as a weapon rather than to explore ideas. Flaming results from inadequate empathy for other individuals. The solution to flaming is complex but, industry wide,repparttar 132506 only real known solution is strong group guides, moderators, and structure.

Quit your addiction here and now.

Written by Malcolm Pugh

how to permanently quit addictions

I am a reformed alcoholic. I am a reformed chain smoker. I am an ex fat person. I am also not selling anything. My only wish now is to help people by passing on my knowledge, I guess this sounds too good to be true. When you have really nearly died a few times, money takes on a sort of reduced role in your thinking. Make no mistake about it, we are all going to die, even you will die one day. When you are young this seems a long long way away, I'm fifty now, and it sure seems a little closer to hand than it did. So it makes sense to makerepparttar time I have left quality time, free of drink smoking and obesity, after all it is easier to get older if you feel fitter, than if you are ruining your body daily. I wish I had started earlier in life, YOU CAN.

You may think I have superhuman will power to quit drinking and smoking, and gambling and all other excesses. To a certain extent that is true, I have a great deal of will power, but I also have a method, a way of thinking, which helps.

For some reason, and it may have been a good  one atrepparttar 132489 time, you have a craving, an overpowering addiction. You love something more than you love yourself atrepparttar 132490 present time.

Think myself or my health.

In this New Labour Tony Blair type world, certainly in Britain, everything is explainable in terms of something else more convenient. It doesn't detract fromrepparttar 132491 plain fact thatrepparttar 132492 Emperor really hasn't got any clothes on at all. In short, it's not stretchingrepparttar 132493 truth, it's really a very big lie.

This is what you are currently doing to yourself, you are living out a lie in order to placate yourself, in order to make what you are doing palatable. What you are really doing is killing yourself a lot quicker, and a lot more painfully than is really necessary, and by and large no one gives a damn whether you do or you don't, they are too busy with themselves to really and truly bother about YOU. By and large this is correct. The few people that possibly do care either haven't a clue how to help, or are simply hampered byrepparttar 132494 realisation that it is only YOU who can cure it.

There are really no excuses If you are drinking too much you are a pain of a drunk. If you are smoking too much you are a pain of a smoker. If you are gambling too much you are a liability, just as you are if you are on drugs. You probably nodded to all these, and felt agreement, so why don't you realise that you are putting an intolerable  strain onrepparttar 132495 people around you, to say nothing ofrepparttar 132496 strain onrepparttar 132497 Health Professionals.


Because you are too self indulgent to stop for a minute enjoying yourselves to see if you are bothering other people, too wrapped up in yourselves to care about others. There is no magic formula to giving up an addiction, You stop doing what it is that is costing you, and every  one around you a fortune. You stop paying out what you haven't got on things YOU DON'T REALLY NEED.

To break that down further, in order to do this you will need to change your whole way of life, permanently. Make no mistake, if you are really and truly HAPPY with what you are doing, then fine, go ahead and do it, but acknowledge that most things you really enjoy overdoing kill you slowly, and painfully, and most things  done to excess bring attendant guilt. Stop reading now if you don't want to quit for good and all or else you are wasting someone else's bandwidth who has what it takes when you have not gotrepparttar 132498 moral fibre.

What it takes is a modicum of will power combined with a hell of a lot of common sense. I have had a lot of addictions, I am an excessive natured person. I findrepparttar 132499 first step in losing any of them is to look at them as a phase I have grown out of. I have matured to such an extent I no longer need their crutch to carry me onwards.

Generally speaking, most addictions are to make up for or act as a distraction fromrepparttar 132500 world as it is. We have to learn to face up to life instead of running away from it, and hiding behind false barriers built up onrepparttar 132501 shaky foundations of fleeting happiness bought at great actual and mental cost via addiction.

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