One Person's Cross May Be Another Person's Salvation - Part 2Written by Dr. Dorree Lynn
Your genetic makeup, personal history, and particular preferences and abilities help dictate not only how you view world, but also what experiences may cause you concern. Some people take so much time thinking about an event that they may never act, while others confuse activity with productivity. We have all watched bathers enter a swimming pool. One person will stand on edge for so long, deciding whether or not to jump or dive that sun disappears and it becomes too cold to take plunge. Another stands on edge, splashes water on him self and slowly sinks into shallow end. Yet another personality type strides to pool's edge and, without noticing water's depth or even whether someone is in way, jumps right in. She might energetically do laps or suddenly remember that she cannot swim. What is a normal life event for one person can send another "over edge."
Sometimes an ordinary event feels like a crisis and you "fall apart at seams."
New Year New LoveWritten by Dr. Dorree Lynn
January tends to be an awful month. For many individuals loneliness increases, and they yearn to be brought to life by passion of romance. This passionate romantic love is not just a form of love, it is an entire psychological package consisting of a combination of beliefs, ideals, attitudes and expectations. Passionate, romantic love is single greatest energy system in a new relationship. It can drive us wild, “crazy” out of our heads. In short run, sex, transcendence, wholeness and ecstasy seem like only important values in life. In long run, we are unaware of how contradictory ideas coexist in our unconscious minds and impact our reactions and behavior. We have automatic assumptions about who other person is and what they are about. Blinded by love, we are over come with feelings and ignore warning signs, obvious though they may be.
Even unrealized fantasy romantic love doesn't mean just loving someone; it means we are “in love” and that somehow being connected to this other human being will forever eliminate our life's sorrows. Our unconscious belief is that our lover or spouse will always provide us with this feeling of intensity and safety.
When we are not “in love,” we spend much of our time with a deep sense of loneliness and frustration over our inability to make genuinely loving and committed relationships. Usually we blame others for “not being right one” or for failing us in some essential way. It takes a surprise jolt or some therapy to acknowledge that perhaps we are ones who have to change. It is our own attitudes and expectations we place on other people and on relationships that need fixing.
When a man and a woman first fall in love, they rarely understand that they may be as different as two species, each seeking some lost piece of themselves. For many men it is their lost feminine side---feelings of relatedness, community, a flowing of souls. They start off seeking their unlived feminine side through a particular woman and magically believe she will stay just way she seems. Many women, who in spite of themselves idealize masculine values, feel inferior if they aren't sufficiently logical, rational, linear thinkers. They feel inferior and have poor self esteem because they intuit or feel what is going on, but can't verbalize it precisely.