Oh No! The Office Holiday Party is a Seated Dinner!

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach


Q: What's harder than knowing how to shine atrepparttar Christmas office party? A: Knowing how to shine when it's a seated dinner.

The open-format Christmas office party is a piece of cake compared to a seated lunch or dinner. At a buffet-type function you can move around, which means you can disappear when you want to. You don’t want to get caught hiding out inrepparttar 107073 ladies’ room all night, but since you’re free to move around, you can leave any person or group when you want, and even leaverepparttar 107074 room.

However, atrepparttar 107075 seated affair you are trapped. If it strikes fear in your heart, you aren’t alone. Even for a pro, this isn’t easy. Here are some tips:

IT ISN’T A PARTY

Never forget this. It may superficially appear different (new place, new people), but remember everything you say can and will be used against you.

You’ll be seeing these people Monday morning. If you think it’s hard to face a one-night stand after creeping out of her house inrepparttar 107076 middle ofrepparttar 107077 night, wait till you have to face your boss Monday morning after getting sloppy drunk Saturday night and spilling your guts about some personal problem you can’t handle. I mean how will (s)he expect you to be a competent Marketing Director when you were crying because your cat had died? I knowrepparttar 107078 two things have nothing to do with one another, but your boss doesn't.

Think ofrepparttar 107079 word "mortifying." No one needs to know about your hysterectomy, how well Viagra works for you, that your young wife left you, that you thinkrepparttar 107080 new manager stinks, or anything else about your personal life.

You simply are not free to say anything you want to.

FOLLOW THE LEADER

Once seated, you must watchrepparttar 107081 leader to know what to do. It can berepparttar 107082 boss, or his or her spouse, whichever one is dominant. Watch what they’re doing. Emily Post may say not to eat asparagus with your fingers, but if your boss' wife is, you really need to think about it. In most cases, I'd go ahead and do it along with her. If you don’t, you’re making a statement. It's that important what your boss and his or her partner do. Don’t start to eat until they do. If they don’t order dessert, you don’t. Monkey see, monkey do.

CONVERSATION

General conversation while you’re being seated will devolve into one conversation dominated byrepparttar 107083 boss at least for a while, often forrepparttar 107084 entire meal. Your job is to pay attention. Ifrepparttar 107085 boss, sometimes aided and abetted by a crony or colleague, starts in on a monologue, be an attentive audience. Look horrified if something bad happened, laugh if he tells a joke, maintain eye contact, be respectful. It can amount to a performance. It’s almost always dominated by males.

FOOLS RUSH IN

There may be lulls in this monologue fromrepparttar 107086 boss. Don't attempt to fill them if you're an amateur. Nowhere doesrepparttar 107087 expression "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" apply more fully.

You don't know this side of your boss. You don't know her sense of humor, what annoys her, what her prejudices are, her religion, or any number of important things that you can step right into if you feel compelled to fill air time. Evenrepparttar 107088 most innocent comment can get you in trouble because it's a very magnified situation - one person talking at a time torepparttar 107089 whole table. What you say will echo and reverberate, allrepparttar 107090 way to your next performance appraisal.

Personal Contacts: The Key to Successful Networking

Written by Virginia Bola, PsyD


Whenrepparttar word "networking" is used, we tend to think of upwardly mobile college graduates with a bursting day timer in hand chatting uprepparttar 107072 competition at business meetings, conventions, or workshops. The average blue/pink/white collar worker disconnects, feeling that they could never be that pushy, don't know enough people to even startrepparttar 107073 attempt, and thatrepparttar 107074 method only works in competitive business environments.

Wrong!

While networking can, and often does, follow such a scenario,repparttar 107075 concept is much broader than that. The premise is that most people find a job through someone they know. It may be a direct referral or, more likely, indirectly hearing about an opening that seems suitable.

Procedurally, networking could not be simpler: contact everyone you know to see if they have any firsthand knowledge about job opportunities. Then contact allrepparttar 107076 people they know. Obtain referrals to other people from everyone you contact and in a short period of time, you will have a veritable army of people working with you to findrepparttar 107077 right position.

An organized approach to this time-demanding but highly effective technique is discussed in depth in my workbook "The Wolf atrepparttar 107078 Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual" (Authorhouse, 2003). Contact lists in various categories are provided as well as schedules for follow up and strategies for maintainingrepparttar 107079 strength and commitment of your lists.

For now, let's look atrepparttar 107080 different levels of networks you can develop.

1. Sizzling Contacts.

These arerepparttar 107081 people you know personally. They include your family, friends, former coworkers, and acquaintances: your barber, your mailman, your doctor, your real estate agent,repparttar 107082 guys you see atrepparttar 107083 golf course,repparttar 107084 women at your club, your children's teachers, other PTA parents - anyone with whom you have regular contact. Often, you need go no further. How many of us obtained our first job through our family or their friends? It is a common occurrence. Look for a moment at ethnic groups and how they operate. Most new immigrants find a position through personal contacts. Hispanics are famous for bringing in their brothers, cousins, and nephews when there is an opening. Most companies who hire mainly Spanish-speaking labor never advertise. All they have to do is tell their employees that they need more workers andrepparttar 107085 next day dozens of assorted relatives show up and they can make their selection. There are large ethnic communities in different parts ofrepparttar 107086 country: Vietnamese, Armenian, Indian, Korean, Chinese, Irish, Portuguese, Samoan, and Filipino. In almost every group, initial job search is strictly word-of-mouth. Later, as individuals, many workers become culturally assimilated and move into more mainstream jobs butrepparttar 107087 core ofrepparttar 107088 group, especially those with poor English skills, tend to remain within their original subculture. There are, for example, airlines whose entire ramp staff at some airports are Pacific Islanders, manufacturing companies whererepparttar 107089 usual language onrepparttar 107090 production floor is Portuguese, and supermarkets whererepparttar 107091 workers (and customers) are overwhelmingly Korean. Contrastrepparttar 107092 successful employment rate of these groups with, for example, African-Americans who are very loosely tied to their communities. Until recent attempts by Church and civic organizations, networking was almost non-existent in African-American culture and a consistently double-digit unemployment rate directly reflected that lack of connectivity.

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