Not Making A Choice Is A Choice

Written by Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, MS, PCC, CTC

Not making a choice is a choice. Letting things happen by default is a choice. If we choose to give up our right to make a choice - we have made a choice. We always have choices, even if we do not likerepparttar ones available. Not liking a choice does not mean we do not have a choice. We are constantly presented with choices. Every day we make hundreds of them, some small, some large, and some life changing. Each choice that we make shapes our lives and determines what other choices will be available to us.

I remember when a therapist introduced me torepparttar 101998 concept of not choosing. I thought she was nuts. After all, if I did not choose, then anything that happened was not my fault. It took years for me to understand that when we don't make a choice and we simply let things happen, or we let others make our choices for us, we have given up our personal power. At times it can feel freeing to give othersrepparttar 101999 opportunity to choose for us. After all, if they choose it, it is their responsibility, right? Wrong. Giving uprepparttar 102000 right to choose does not mean we give up responsibly. We are still responsible, even if we choose to be irresponsible.

At times,repparttar 102001 only choice we have is to choose our attitude and how we will respond. These choices are powerful because they allow usrepparttar 102002 power to stay in control ofrepparttar 102003 internal even if we cannot controlrepparttar 102004 external. Choice is a conscience response. That response is compelling because it allows us to make choices over how we will act in any given moment. When we choose our responses, we decreaserepparttar 102005 number of times we will regret doing something that we felt we were forced to do.

Support Others in Transition

Written by Rinatta Paries

Is someone you care about going through an ending or a difficult transition, feeling sad or grieving? Are you?

Everyone experiences changes in life. With most endings and transitions -- such as job changes,repparttar ending of a relationship, orrepparttar 101997 death of a loved one -- grief and sadness are a normal part ofrepparttar 101998 process.

Unfortunately, people experiencing grief and sadness are often givenrepparttar 101999 message that they should do so in seclusion. While in public, they're encouraged to hide their emotions, put on a happy face, get on with life, etc. This is mostly becauserepparttar 102000 rest of us are not comfortable with and don't know how to deal with grief and sadness in others.

Think aboutrepparttar 102001 last time you had a conversation with someone experiencing sadness or grief. Oncerepparttar 102002 person started sharing his or her emotions, didn't you immediately want to offer encouragement, inspiration or a solution? Most of us do, and we believe we are being supportive by doing this.

But while we are busy fixingrepparttar 102003 person's problems, he or she has just lostrepparttar 102004 opportunity to be listened to. Telling his or her story and being listened to is vital during times of transition.

The following are some ideas to really help someone experiencingrepparttar 102005 grief or sadness of a transition. Followrepparttar 102006 steps outlined below and you will be giving those you cherish a priceless gift.

If you arerepparttar 102007 one experiencing an ending, grief or transition, share these ideas with your friends and family to create a supportive environment for yourself.

1. Listen Without Judgment. If your friend told you he lost a job, has financial problems or just ended a relationship, would you automatically assume it was his fault? And perhaps it was. However, even if your friend did causerepparttar 102008 change, pointing out who is at a fault does not make it any easier to bear. He knows who is at cause. Your contribution is to listen while trusting that he will ownrepparttar 102009 responsibility in time.

2. Listen Without Telling Your Story. When people are in transition, they need to talk about emotions, thoughts and concerns. It's possible you may have had a similar experience and have great ideas to share. Butrepparttar 102010 transitioning person is not ready for these just yet. He or she first needs to talk and be heard. No matter how close you are torepparttar 102011 person undergoing sadness or grief, it is not your place to provide unsolicited solutions or stop his or her pain. Share your experiences only if asked.

3. Handle Yourself inrepparttar 102012 Face of Sadness or Grief. Emotions are not contagious. If someone is sad, there is no requirement for you to also feel sad. If you take onrepparttar 102013 sadness of others, you take away their opportunity to experience their own feelings. If you become sad as a result of listening to grief,repparttar 102014 grieving person will immediately feel guilty and try to make you feel better. Listen to another's grief without taking it on and feeling it yourself.

4. Be Prepared to Deal with Your Fears. When listening to another's difficult emotions, you may experience fear. You may become afraid of someday having to deal with a similar situation and wonder how you will handle it. You may not want to hear what is being said because of this fear. If this situation were to happen to you one day, you would deal with it torepparttar 102015 best of your ability. Meanwhile, listening to another does not make it any more or less likely that something like this will happen to you.

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