"An open ear is only believable sign of an open heart." David Augsburger

"A human being is a part of whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and whole of nature in its beauty." Albert Einstein

As someone who's always been interested in and curious about "soft skills" that make individuals, groups, and teams particularly effective, it seems to me that empathy has gotten short shrift in terms of just how powerful a capability it is in influencing people, building relationships, getting buy-in and motivation, and creating resilience both personally and in systems. I've also been bemused by irony of that expression, as soft stuff is hard stuff for many of us!

In working with an executive coaching client recently, I was asked to conduct some interviews for 360 feedback, and was struck by importance her peers and bosses placed on her being able to understand and hold her customers' perspectives.

In fact, without actually using word "empathy", a number of interviewees indicated it was a key success factor if my client wants to be more effective in her leadership and influence, even though she is already perceived as a very caring, people-competent director.

So what are we talking about exactly? The American Heritage Dictionary defines empathy as "Understanding so intimate that feelings, thoughts, and motives of one are readily comprehended by another."

In emotional intelligence lexicon, empathy is core, critical competence of social awareness. In this context, particularly as it applies to business performance and organizations, empathy is ability to understand other people, to take other and multiple perspectives.

Learn From Role Models

By: Roy Bartell Copyright (c) 2003 All Rights Reserved

First you have to do research. You have to know your subject.

So you shouldn't be interested in people who have been successful because they've been lucky, like people who have been born into great wealth or married into it. Leave that to supermarket tabloids. You should be looking for people over who have become successful through their own achievements and hard work.

Role models don't have to be celebrities. In fact, it's probably better if they're not. I hope that your old models are people you know, people whom you know up to daily for specific traits, not just because you admire their talents. These are ones who can provide constant inspiration and wisdom as you work toward your goals.