No Stars for the EclipseWritten by Robert Levin
One weathercaster called it a “must-see light and shadow show by Old Master Himself,” but I can’t say this last solar eclipse was worthy of recommendation. Not even total, and staged (in my location anyway) behind a thick cloud cover that served only to diffuse vivid contrasts essential to any dramatic effect, “Old Master” might have been faxing it in from deep space somewhere for all incandescence it could claim. Quite frankly, as light shows go, I thought more interesting work was being done at Electric Circus back in '60s.
Now let’s please not have any misunderstandings. I’m aware that I’m criticizing performance of a venerable figure who, over eons and in every conceivable form and category, has compiled an impressive oeuvre. If I have to confess that a lot of His stuff is not to my taste, that I find much of it heavy-handed or impenetrable (when, indeed, it is not distracted and slack), this doesn’t mean I’ve failed to recognize enormous contribution He’s made.
I’m thinking, of course, of models some of His stunning manipulations of more volatile natural elements provided for Irwin Allen disaster films. And, to be sure, there’s His introduction of death itself which, brilliantly counterbalancing His earlier invention of genders and sex, forestalled unwieldy prospect of twenty-thousand expansion teams in just American League East (and, say, 2005 playoffs extending well into 2020 season). But that’s hardly been limit of this remarkable innovation’s reach and impact. In its absence, "Scream 2," which everyone agrees was even better than "Scream," would doubtless have languished in perpetual turnaround since filmgoers would have found emotions of fear and panic depicted in original much too weird and elusive for a sequel to ever be greenlighted.
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 1 Written by OfficeComedy.com
10. Take notes in finger paint.
9. Bring a huge jar of Vaseline to meeting. Display it prominently and keep muttering words “I came prepared”
8. Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 or 3 minutes ago. Say, "Oh, _now_ I get it!"
7. Wear a disposable paper facemask. Tell group: "Hey, you don't want to catch what I've got!"
6. Make a face like somebody beside you farted.
5. Stand up and act indignant. Demand that boss tell you “the real reason” this meeting has been called.
4. Have someone deliver a large cardboard box to you in conference room. Apologize while you sign for it. About half an hour later, have a different person deliver another one.